Everyday 's a GiFT

Interesting fact by Dr. Kevin Leman

2011-01-21T00:23:00.002+08:00

Our birth orders in our family consequently impact our attitudes.

This is an interesting article that I read not too long ago that want to share with you readers coz' i found it quite true to me. Enjoy reading. =)

First Born

Positive traits: natural leaders; are competent; display responsible behaviour; comfortable socialising with adults from an early age; high achievers; frequently live with a sense of entitlement and even superiority; strive to protect and help others;tendency towards conformity

Negative traits: demonstrate perfectionist qualities by putting pressure on themselves to succeed; often moody; occasionally lack sensitivity; intimidating, particularly in pushing people too hard or refusing to take no for an answer; known to be authoritarian or bossy

Needs: Authority approval

Suggestion: First born children have to know that it is okay for them to fail sometimes. They need to be aware that it is okay that they are not the best all of the time so long as they have tried their very best and that their significant authority figures (parents/teachers) would still love them

Second Child / Middle Child

Positive traits: independent and competitive with the oldest sibling, especially in small families; tendency to develop their own persona away from the family to
develop abilities not found in the elder siblings; may tend to be a people-pleaser and usually hate confrontations; very calm, down-to-earth; can adapt to changes and acquire very good social skills; great listeners; good mediators and negotiators

Negative traits: may feel uncertain of self and own abilities if the elder child is successful, feel "squeezed" when a younger child is born; seldom getting parents undivided attention, may lean towards rebellions; difficulty in setting boundaries; not good at making decisions that would offend others; tend to blame themselves when others fail

Needs: Sense of belonging

Suggestion: Try to include second born children in all activities. They are likely to be motivated by a cause and enjoy working with people because that would give them a sense of belonging.

Youngest Child

Positive traits: creative, unconventional; charming and adaptable; strong people skills; love to entertain and talk to others; make friends easily; an extrovert; energized by the presence of other people; display the highest developed levels of emotional intelligence; not afraid to take risks; may behave like only child

Negative traits: cannot accept to be “dethroned”, used to always getting their way, tend to get bored quickly; strong fear of rejections; short attention span; self-centred; tend to have unrealistic expectations, expect others to do things, make decisions, and take responsibility;
feeling disadvantaged in being the smallest and weakest, develop feelings of inferiority or become "speeder" to catch up with older siblings

Needs: Need attention for their efforts

Suggestion: Last born children may have babyish qualities, such as excessive tattling, crying, or whining. It is important that you must not get annoyed with these habits but give them some extra tasks to make them feel helpful and allow them to become more mature. They will often do anything to be noticed, so ensure you appreciate their efforts.

Only Child

Positive traits: always the centre of attention, they often enjoy this position as it makes them feel special; can be very matured intellectually; task-oriented; extremely well-organized; highly conscientious; dependable; feels extremely comfortable with responsibility

Negative traits: feel unfairly treated when not getting their own way; may refuse to cooperate; can be selfcentred; tough to handle; may play "divide and conquer" to get own way; missing out on the social skills learned through sibling interaction, may find it difficult to share or
compromise; can be very demanding; hate to admit they are wrong; do not accept criticisms well

Needs: Recognition

Suggestion: It is necessary for the only child to be aware that you know how hard he/she is trying and how hard he/ she is doing. This reassures the child that he/she is living up to your standards and boosts his/her overall confidence.

Interesting? Let me know your feedback =)

Confession of a child's heart

2011-01-16T01:59:00.003+08:00

These statements apply to me...and maybe some of you out there:

I want my family support no matter what I am going through.

I wish I can confide in my parents in every issues and problems I face in life.

Sadly this is not true. Why do I say so...

Well, firstly its through the 19 years living with my parents that I know how they will react to certain topics or things that I mentioned.

I will always use my relationship for example. Coz up till now, I don't know how to approach you to tell you about my relationship. From my past experience of you lecturing me and giving negative replies about me in a relationship, I don't know how to talk to you about it. For goodness sake, I'm turning 20 in one day time...when I don't tell you about my relationship and you found it out from others, you blame me for hiding it from you and start bringing everything up to me. E.g: Studies, past..

I know studies is important and I do realise that my degree cost a big sum and burden to the family finance but I am not stupid enough to get a relationship and throw my degree away. So by threatening me to stop studying and go out to work and just get married is quite discouraging and saddening and heart breaking for a child to hear from their own parents. If you're going to talk to me like that everytime(which you do for what I've observed) You will notice I have stop or seldom talk to you or tell you things.

Who is to blame then? Me for not being a responsible child for not informing things to you? You personally said this to me ''Don't you think its your responsibility to talk to us and tell us things?'' Yes it is my responsibility to inform you and tell you but don't you think you too have to talk to us in a nicer tone? and way? Certain things you say will put us off. Being angry will make me turn away coz I am afraid I admit, I am afraid of you when you get angry coz' you are my parents and you have the say to kick me out of the family if i cross the line. I respect you but i yearn for the courage and freedom to talk to you and share with you.

I hate it when I tell you things and you react, which causes both parties to not be happy.

You always ask me to analyze and think critically. I am trying to. I really am but my brain don't think like you do, I'm still young and learning and growing. Everybody is different. yes you've gone through alot and you definately know more than me which is why you advice me not to do this or that. But don't restrict me coz i'll dislike it more. Walk through things with me, this is what I am asking for.

You told me to start a blog, start reading, cultivate these habits. I don't mind telling you about my blog. I don't mind at all but I dislike the fact that you will question things about what I write. YES I KNOW that in life people will question you ,and i must learn to answer those questions...you tell me this all the time, but this is MY blog and this is how and what I express on. How would you react by reading this post? Honestly I don't know.

How am I to tell you things when you react by restricting me before I can further explain myself

Sometimes parents just need to learn to listen and put their ego aside. I too have my own ego, I too am sensitive which is why I cry. When Things are not resolved between parents and daughter, I'll turn to my partner. You give me love which i appreciate, he gives me a different kind of love and support. thus when I can't talk to you, I turn to him..when you are demanding i keep quiet coz answering your questions will bring more questions..Don't make me build thicker walls coz I hate to do so.

I want to prove to you that I want this degree for myself and my future, not to make you happy. I know you're keeping quiet now to see how I score for my first semester. But I am not perfect. If i dont do WELL, the whole cycle starts again.

Arrgghhh! NOTE TO SELF: STOP PUTTING UNNECESSARY STRESS UNTO SELF!!!!!

exclaimer: don't take it too personally.

Chocolates ~ Ours to keep

2010-10-23T08:00:00.000+08:00

I miss eating chocolates with you in lecture halls
I miss feeling special
to be the only one that you shared chocolates with
I miss those times back in College.
Wish we could eat chocolates together again...

I know we will
Oneday

*hearts*

23rd~ours to keep

I will finish strong

2010-10-22T17:11:00.003+08:00

Many a times when things don't seem to go our way
We tend to think that we've got it bad
Its the same for me...

When things seem to come crushing down on me
when the pressure is on
I tend to think that I have got it worst..

But I thank God who works in marvelous ways..
A wonder of how a small motivational clip can open up my eyes
reminding me
that He will not throw you something that you can't handle.

In life,
there will always be situations thrown at us
to build us up
to build my character

I will have to try again
and again
and again..

No matter how hard it is
no matter how tough it seems
I will have to finish this race
and
I intend to finish it strong

That is a promise I make to myself

2010-10-21T11:37:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I just wish that crying my heart out will make every hurt go away...

will make everything turn out right again...

But it'll never happen that way...

You said I don't have the passion in doing what I want..

You said you don't see that passion...

I'm never good enough...

It would help much if you'd give me more encouragements than criticism....

I've disappointed you with an average A level results...

thus I have to prove myself worthy of being sponsored by you to do my degree...

Reason why I don't tell you that I have a blog is because I don't know how much more criticism you'd have to add for me...

You said if I can't accept criticism and pressure then don't do it...

Do you know how much it sucks to hear that from someone you'd hope to recieve encouragement from??...

I stop talking...

When I know that I can't turn to you anymore...

You say things as if you know...

You assume things as if you know...

Then you go on saying ''Go ahead and tell everyone that I'm the cause of your failure'...

What are you trying to prove?...

Like you said, if I don't show my passion, you'll not sponsor me..

and thus you don't have to...

What the Doc said...

2010-10-18T00:20:00.002+08:00

Latest update: Went to see a skin specialist

I've been having this rash like thing surfacing on my skin for quite some months and as usual I don't do anything about it until it starts to go red due to my excessive scratching.*booo*

So anyway, mom saw my rashes and she finally said to bring me to the skin specialist asap,reason coz' she's also been having this skin problem on her right leg since like I-don't-remember-when. So I got news that there's a good skin specialist at ss15( same row as Public Bank) and was adviced to call to make appointment as the queeue can get quite long. I didn't take that advice as I was thinking to myself, if I go early, I wouldn't have to wait long*brilliant*

I was so wrong! =.=''

That Saturday morning, I woke up around 8am-ish~ and our whole family left home about 8.40am! I drove so we reached ss15 and found a parking space about 9.15am. To my uttmost surprise, the clinic was already packed with patients! and the bussiness hour states that its opened from 9am to 4pm on Saturdays. Came 15minutes after opening and it was already packed!?! I asked the nurse how long would we have to wait before its our turn and the nurse said roughly 1hour or so. So okluh, 1 hour will pass by fast when we're doing something. We registered our names and went to Silva to eat breakfast.

About 10am we walked back to the clinic and ask how long more must we wait, nursie said maybe 30mins or so. So ok luh, we went to the nearby Watson to look at some stuff while enjoying the cool air-con. Half an hour later, we went back to the clinic and I specifically asked the nurse again how many patients more before its my turn. Nurse took quite some time to check and counted there were still 11 more patients to go. I was like @#%#$%#^!!!!

I came in at 9.15am, now its already 10.30am and you tell me I still got 11 more patients to go?!!! Ok fine, to kill some time me, sis and dad went to the nearby morning market in ss15 to shop for some groceries and to get myself familiarised to markets and raw food as I am doing the cooking nowadays. Mom didn't follow coz' she said her leg hurts when she walks.

We walked to the market, bear in mind it was the 10.30am morning sun which is HOT! Oh and just for the record, that day(Saturday) temperature was 36C. We walked and I saw that the stuff sold in the market was so much more expensive than the ones which I can get from KK's Pasar Tani or Hypermarket. Some examples: Lemons!Selling at Rm1 to 1.20 per piece in the market, Rm0.69 to 0.89 from hypermarket ; Granny smith apple, Rm10 for 14(ss15), Rm10 for 20(KK Pasar Tani)

However I saw some interesting stuff. I saw a pinkish red banana! They called it pisang Udang, its sweet! Finally saw an actual brussel sprout..hehe..dad said brussel sprouts are expensive coz' cannot get here in M'sia as they require cool weather to grow. Indeed the brussel sprout sold in ss15 was expensive, Rm22 per kg!

Facts on Brussel Sprouts: Has cholesterol lowering compound! High in Vitamin K(good for blood clot); High in anti oxidant; Good for cancer prevention =D

After the market trip, we walked back to the clinic which was about 11.15am. Asked the nurse another time and still got 5 more patients to go. =.='' Was finally called in about 11.45am.

Doc used a big magnifying glass to observe the rashes on my arm and he quickly concluded that I have eczema and continued saying that it could be hereditary. So I was thinking who has it..hmm..anyway Doc gave a 2 type of pills(one for morning, and one for night consume) and 2 type of cream(one for morning and one for night application). Doc asked me not to use Detol or Protex body wash as they're harsh for my skin, instead he asked me to use Dove which is mild on my skin.

Interesting advice given: For those who has eczema, after care of skin is uttmost important. Shower with cold water to soothe the itch and use moisturisers.

Interesting facts that I found out: The best way to trap moiture on skin is to apply the medicated cream and moisturisers within the 3 minutes after bath. Purpose of applying moisturisers is to retain the moisture from a shower onto the skin, so that the skin can stay moist. =D

Total bill for me is Rm115. To me its reasonable coz'
1.Its a specialist
2.Consultation fees is only Rm30
3. four types of medication for Rm85 which I can see the results within first application.

So yeah, Like I said, I could see my skin healing within the first application. I'm uber happy bout it =D The next appointment I have to make it to see Dr. G!..hehe

Lotsa Love and cheers! <3

Dorment NOT anymore!

2010-10-06T22:49:00.006+08:00

My darling bloggie!

I've missed you!!!..hehehe...

Yesh yes I do realise I've been dorment for like 3 full months (July, August, September). Why? Its because I didn't have the mood to update my blog eventhough alot of events had happened. Why no mood? Its coz' of the little mood spoiler that happened one week after my A levels exam which I did blog about just a few post below.

Anyway I suddenly thought of blogging again is because of my dad. Yes, he does has a good amount of influence on me, influence to either totally spoil my mood or to push me to think and do something. You see, my dad found out that lil' sista has a blog and sis got all upset bout' it coz' to her, a blog is meant to be something private and kinda of a ''no parents are allowed'' area. Dad was happy and glad to have found her blog and was talking bout' it. And of course dad did encourage me to start a blog, start writing about my interested course and about my new found hobby ecetera. Then he goes on saying ' A blog is for people to read and see, if you don't want others to read your blog means you have something to hide."

So I was thinking to myself, should I start a new blog writing all about my hobby and interest and keep this blog with my real expressed feelings in the shadows? I came to a conclusion of a NO, I will not start a new blog, I will continue on with this current blog. This is my blog and this is where I express my discomfort, my dislike, my anger and my happiness. Everyone is free to read it and leave a comment but don't come judging me if you don't like the way I express or write about you or who-so-ever. Period. I have nothing to hide. Thats what I can say. I will reveal my blog to those who I want to when I think its the right time. As for now, If my parents or whoever relatives read my blog by accident then so be it.

So what happened during these 3 months...hmm...

July..
July went by not so pleasantly. As what I can remember there was tension going around between me and my parents regarding my degree course and my relationship and me finding a job. At the end, I got a teaching job at Xiao Dou Dou which pays quite well.

August..
I volunteered at Touch and Grow Community Support(TGCS) teaching special children for 2 months (August and September). I really enjoyed teaching those children, they are very special indeed.
Our Youth, Sword Squad had Pyjamas Night this month and Kean Lee joined us! I was of course happy that he could join us and that he can get to know our crazy youths..xD

September...
Went to Popular bookfest and bought a few books to read. One of which is a book regarding nutrition, quite interesting I must say. I'll write more on those in a new entry. Dad bought me a baking book and I've manage to try out quite a number of recipes and still counting =D. Will definately blog on those in a new entry =D

Those are just the summary of what had happened during the past 3 months..hehe...and the most important update is that I changed my hair style! =D

Ta-da!

11/06/2010

2010-06-26T01:33:00.010+08:00

Ahh~ the not so sweet habit of procastination..

Yea I know, I know, been MIA-ing for a while since my last post eventho I'm actually quite free to blog everyday as I've got nothing much to do but to stay at home, sleep till noon, watch movie, eat, do house work and occasionally exercise. BUT the thing is, I ain't got the mood to blog due to certain mood issues as you can read in my previous post.
Anyways, it seems like today I've got the mood to blog. So I've decided to blog about Friday (11/06/2010).

Here is the entry for...

11th June 2010,

I'm sure many of you local readers out there have been to Genting Highlands at least once or twice. I personally have been there more than 3 times. and all of those times, the only reason I have plans of going up to Genting Highland is to go into their theme park and well of course enjoy and scream my heart out on the rides.

Today was different, the plan of going up to Genting with Kean Lee for a one day trip was suggested on Wednesday, planned a solid plan on Thursday and went up there on Friday. So it was kind of impromtu thing.

Both of us had the same idea in mind before we shared it with one another. We both thought about going up to Genting to just to walk around, enjoy the fresh air up there, look at the other attraction of Genting besides its theme park, enjoy one another company and of course capture beautiful memories together.

And the plan for Friday was taking LRT to Gombak station, buy a bus and cable car package ticket up to Genting. Walk around, take pictures, go into shops around Genting as most of the time I was always rushing to get into the theme park.

You know, I'm one of those who love to keep myself busy, fill in my time with activities, make sure that I have things to do everytime and feel in control just so that I can feel accomplished. However one of the thing that Kean Lee taught me was to learn to take a step back, observe and let things flow. The beauty of life cannot be seen and felt if we bury our head into what we want, it can be seen and felt if we learn to slow down and look at our surrounding, step out of our busy schedule for a moment and see what we're missing out. A level have really rob us of our time and the people around us. We're stuck in our own little world of A levels exams, not knowing what is going on in the world out there, not even knowing the activities going around TARC.

Anyway, we got ourselves up at Genting by 10.30am. The first thing I did when we arrived was that I dragged Kean Lee into the souvenier shop and got my sis, his sis and my mom some souveniers. hehehe.
Then we walked around Genting, saw that there were other hotels besides Awana and Theme Park Hotel.(All the while I really thought there were only those hotels). The Lobby of the other hotels were more posh and they have leather sofa's for guests to sit on which also mean that the room rates are exquisite. It was an eye opener for me coz' whenever I do stay over at Genting, the rooms are usually from the 2 hotels I mentioned. Anyway, we just walked blindly, exploring routes of how Genting manage to connect the whole place... and Kean Lee got hungry thus we went looking for food. To our surprise, there were buffet deals at RM27 per person, eat all you can. But we weren't up for that that day so the most worth eating food was KFC. And indeed, the chicken was bigger (size) and they have cucumbers..hehe..eat till jelak. We sat at the indoor theme park area for quite some time, just to look at the people around us, the family, the atmosphere.

We went to took some flower pictures and also took some pics with the flowers ;

Went to an open area which was like a balcony, it was windy, cloudy and definately nice.
Didn't stay at the area for long as it was packed with people, some even smoking.

Another garden, and yes, uniquely twisted tree =D
We sat around Genting for awhile more and left for home at about 6pm. Reach hostel about 9pm due to jam packed situation at the skyway cable car and the scheduled bus time.

There are some things that we both enjoy in doing like looking at the sky, feeling the breeze hence somethings we have in common in, Which make us enjoy even more what we actually love doing by Being able to do what you love and share it with your partner.

All in all, This trip up was definately a memorable and beautiful one.

Not so pleasant update I guess...

2010-06-19T00:43:00.004+08:00

Hey peeps!

Its been one week since I've officially finished my Cambridge A level course. *Yippy!!!*

During this duration of one week, I spent some of my time with Kean Lee, some with lil' Sis, some watching lame movies at home and lots of sleeping till noon. =D

My past week plans

Thursday :
Last day of exam, went for badminton from 4pm till 6pm, tired ourselves out..hehe..but it was fun.
Went back hostel to freshen up and left for Pasar malam at 8pm!! =D
Went to Wangsa Walk straight after pasar malam at 10.45pm, wanted to catch a late night movie. Bought Prince of Persia ticket at 11.30pm. AWESomE movie!!! Worth watching. Movie ended at about 1.30am. Went back to hostel and snuuzzzzzzzzZZZZz

Friday :
Woke up early at about 8am(I don't even wake up so early for exam!!!...ok fine, I don't even sleep during exam..lolz)!
Prepared to go to GENTING!!!
Caught the 9.30 am bus to genting from gombak LRT station. Took skyway cable car up to Genting. Was sms-ing my parents throughout the whole trip about me going to genting..they were very paranoid. Understandable.
Didn't went into the themepark. Walk around and enjoy the air up in Genting. WIll elaborate more in a new post.

Saturday :
Left hostel about 11am, took LrT down to bangsar to cut my hair, then went to MidValley!
Parents fetch me home from hostel, hostel room was left bare as it was given to me.
Will elaborate more in a new post too ^^

Sunday :
Finally home!!! Was woken by mom at 9 am!!! to colour her hair. =_=" Coz' its her big day as 13/06/2010 was the renewal of my parents marriage vow in church.
After dyeing her hair, went to salun to style her ( and my) hair. hehe..
Went down to Subang for lunch, had bak kut teh. Went to Subang Parade for mom's complimentary Lancome make up appointment.
Prepare for Church wedding vow of parents.

Monday :
Left for hostel with sis at 9.30am. Met Kean Lee at Kelana LRT station.
Went back hostel for the last time to settle some stuff. Got into an arguement with the s***** hostel lady guard who ask me to leave my sis outside of hostel as she didn't have her original IC with her ( she only had her laminated/coloured IC) .
Went to Sungai Wang to walk and shop with sis and Kean Lee. Bought a new baby Syrian Hamster (but died 2 days later due to unknown reason)
Had loads of fun ^^

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday :
Woke up about noon time, ate simple lunch, watch at least 2 movies, didn't really go online, went check out for some part time job. GOt a good paying one by recommendation of a Friend. Did not start job straight away tho as I STILL WANT TO REST.

Friday (today, 18/06/2010) :
Went out with Kean Lee to 1UTAMA. Followed mom out.
Dad was PMS-ing.
Had fun walking whole of 1U. spend 8 hours there.lolz.
Bought a but cat ear for sis for only RM5, Bought a big cute octopus at the bargain corner of precious thots for only RM20. Bought a nice fitting slacks at Amour for RM39.90.
Needed the slacks coz' the only Padini slacks i had was literally dropping off my hips......

Anyway, good 1st week spent. Except for the next shitty* part.

I was reminded by my dad to find out more about my degree courses and what financial options that are available since Monday. OBVIOUSLY i lazed around at home and didn't go find out stuff as was told and thus he PMSed on me on Thursday and kept his bad mood till Friday and talked shit* about me thinking about going dating only and bringing up about wanting to get married early and forget about my education topic. WTH!!!

I kept quiet and that is what i do best. I SHUT UP. How am I to talk to some one who won't even listen and keep barking????? If you are going to raise your voice, and go red in the face and stare at me with the 'ohh so intimidating' eyes, well, don't bother, I won't speak up.
It is NOT cool to talk with the volume and make someone be afraid of you. Trust me, I'll end up closing myself up from you. so I let him talk and shout whatever he wants.

For goodness sake!!! WHY contradict yourself?!?! You were the one who told me that its normal for me to get into a relationship and yes you did state your PERSONAL opinion very clearly that you would prefer me not to get into any relationship. But what the heck, I am already in it. and I DID NOT SAY that I WILL NOT go find out about my degree courses and all. I need time to do so ok?!?!? And only 1 week has passed. Why can't you just let me enjoy my 1 week of holiday? Isit so hard for you to encourage me? Isit so hard so say positive words like "ok, enjoy yourself", "ok, do you best" WITHOUT ADDING other stuff like "ok, enjoy yourself but don't forget what other stuff you are suppose to do etc.etc.etc" If you really must say such thing, can't you say it after?

What is the realistic expectation here? No dating until what?you're old?!?!?! The more you shout at me, the more I won't open up to you. How would you expect me to have a NORMAL conversation with you? which is why most of the time I choose to sush UP!

And yes I AM afraid of you. If not I would not be typing all these here.

I'm sorry for the harsh words I used here. This is how I have been feeling.

Don't like the way I express, I don't care.

Got something to say, do comment.

Me & You ~

2010-05-23T20:14:00.004+08:00

23rd of May...

...Let us continue this journey together
Hand in hand
Heart as one

Forever Kean Lee & Carmille

Ex-tinc-ti-on

2010-05-17T10:00:00.000+08:00

Food for thought

What if an extinct animal was cloned back to life?

Wouldn't that mean extinction is not forever?

Which also means that extinction will not mean the same anymore..

For the early risers

2010-05-16T02:07:00.002+08:00

The Lawyer and the Chinese

An American lawyer and a Chinese
are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that
he could get over on them, easy.
So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game.

The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap,
so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun.

I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5;
you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet,
he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.
"What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?"
The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket,
pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the Chinese's turn.
He asks the lawyer,
"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows,
all to no avail.

After one hour of searching he finally gives up.

He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500.
The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

He wakes the Chinese up and asks,
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?
The Chinese reaches in his pocket,
hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep......

Moral of the story *Don't mess with the Chinese =D

Lame Amusement ...

2010-05-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

Suggestion for how to amuse yourself...

Say nothing when you answer the phone...
They rang you...They can speak first

*
*
*
*
*
*

Want a better suggestion?...

When a car stop for you at a zebra crossing, run up and pat their hood...
to show your appreciation =D

*I doubt you'll have a chance to do so..
no Malaysian would actually stop for you at any zebra crossing.....

Just something for the lazy generation >.< ...

Start your day with laughter =D

2010-05-12T04:29:00.003+08:00

Some jokes for the heart

A teacher asked a four-year-old what his name was.

" Spider Man " the four-year-old replied.

"No, I mean your real name my dear" said the teacher.

The child apologised. "Oh, I'm sorry, Its Peter Parker."

*
*
*
*

A man was rushing for an important meeting and

he couldn't find a parking space.

Looking up to the heaven, he said,

"Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking space,

I pormise to go to church every Sunday

for the rest of my life and

give up swearing."

Miraculously, a spot opened right in front of the building.

The man looked up and said,

" Never mind. I found one."

-cheerios-

Scattered thoughts

2010-05-12T02:32:00.002+08:00

Just the other day, I was having my usual chat with Kean Lee. This time we were talking about our course mates, what they want to pursue after their A levels.

Whenever one chooses to enter the science stream, their ambition usually don't stray far. They're usually into the medical, research field.

Considering we're both of the science stream, no doubt most of our course mates have similar pathway that they wanted to pursue : medical field. Whenever we ask them what they wanted to study, most will answer Doctor, Dentistry, Pharmacy. These 3 courses seem to be of the most popular choices.

Some who at the beginning wanted to pursue MD, when asked later in the year, they changed their mind to pursuing Dentistry or Pharmacy. Asked them why the change, some said that they didn't want to 'play' with life ; some said that the study period was just too long ; others said Dentistry earns more than a doctor considering the time spent on studies and the working hours.

I'm now talking in the viewpoint of the science stream only. These are my point of views.

There are only a few predictable reasons on why most students decide to pursue a Medical, Dentistry or Pharmacy degree.

1. High pay, good income = good future
2. Status and pride
3. Parents wish of them to pursue this pathway

The title Doctor used to be an honourable and noble one. Like what Kean Lee told me, the world have distorted the main reason of becoming a doctor. The noble reason for one to wanting to be a doctor is for the good cause, wanting to help the sick. But now as the world become more materialistic, more money minded, individual pursue a doctor career is mainly due to the high income that they can get. Its more of a bussiness than a service to help the sick. Doctors are here to help heal the sick, what if the sick can't afford the medication, should doctors ignore them and let them die? Its a very subjective matter as there are many aspect to consider, from cost of the medicine to the equiptment needed to treat the sick.

Of course I'm not saying that those who want to be a doctor, they should go all out, use all their savings to treat the poor. Doctors too need to survive, they need to feed their family. What I meant is their heart, their mindset. What do they want to see? the sick being healed? or short consultation time = more money into their pocket? More community centered or more account centered?

Pharmacist, knowing all sorts of drugs in the market, doesn't really do good. Its scary actually knowing the effects of different chemicals. Anyway, we can't really make the world a better place with more drugs/medicine. Consuming different chemicals, for all we know, we're bringing onto ourselves who knows what kind of long term side effects. Then again, we cannot run away from having to consume chemicals as our world now are made of loads of artificial food filled with preservatives.

********

Sometimes it does make me wonder what are we after. What make us contented, satisfied. A higher paid job which rob us of our time and youth? or having a happy family with income that can sustain our daily needs will do.

Especially for you

2010-05-07T14:19:00.005+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

KEAN LEE

DEAREST

Hehehe...this blog post is especially for you

Let the month of May be the most memorable month of the whole year

Cherish every moment spent with you

*hearts*

Thursday~

2010-05-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps,

So this is just a little update on what happened on Thursday (6/5/10).

I came down all the way from college to Bandar Sunway just to go for a lingerie warehouse sale.

Was it worth the trip? Of Course Yes! It was damn worth it. I can finally throw away my old scarlet bras which all of them are already deformed and rusty (the support wire) and I got myself a good 6 sets of new undergarments of Pierre Cardin, Young Hearts brand for only RM64!!!

A big shout out to sister Charity Choo for the info of the warehouse sale! Thank you! And I did enjoy myself shopping with Alex and Charity. =D Will definately want more of the sister shopping/blabbering time, after my exam of course...

Anyway, after the warehouse shopping spree, Lionel dropped me back to Pyramid so that I can meet up with Kean Lee (yes he followed me all the way from hostel). We had BBQ Plaza for lunch , then we went window shopping for awhile before we went back to hostel.

Kean Lee wanted to get a new pair of earphones. So we went into Sony Centre at the new wing to browse through their selections of earphones. Anyway I saw something so familiar yet different. It was the new Sony Walkman W series.
This is the newer model. According to the store manager, it was released in the market on 5/5/10. So its quite new. Apparently its 'more' water resistant than the previous one. So everything is the same except for the water resistant part. Of course it's not meant to be submerged in water for a long time aka you cannot listen to it while swimming ; its just an extra point for those who sweat alot and I mean drenched wet whenever they exercise. The design differ slightly than the 1st edition. To me, this new one is more squarish and I still favour my 1st edition design. I shall just be bias.

So yeah, it's just a chill off time from all the studying and honestly, it was good to be near home. I've been away from home for more than 2 weeks and still counting. Goodness sake, I'm like the only person at home who haven't seen the 'masterpiece' of the renovation of our main gate. Argh..not anytime soon i guess...won't be home until my exam ends which is until 2nd week of June. I do miss home and the people back home!

Don't forget me!!!

*hugs & kisses!*

Giggles!!!

2010-04-30T18:47:00.001+08:00

Sony Walkman W series

A beauty isn't it?

I was officially the proud owner of one of this babe on 11/1/10. How I came to have it, well it was an early birthday surprise from Kean Lee for my 19th birthday. I've kept this birthday present from everyone up till date. It never left hostel, actually it did, once. Kean Lee brought it home for one weekend. Anyway, he got to know that I liked this gadget coz' once when we went out, I was drooling over it when we visited one of the Sony Centre. To me, this is like the coolest invention ever! A wireless walkman!

I didn't expect him to buy it for me though. Which is why I said I was really surprised when he placed a big package infront of me 6 days before my birthday. I've been using it when I do my laundry, dishes and doing maths in hostel. Oh! and it also helps me to concentrate better in my studies when my room mate is watching chinese drama series on her laptop. She never uses headphones so the drama can get quite annoying and distracting.

When it first came out, I wanted to have it coz' it would really accompany me with my jogging. But since having it, I've never brought it out with me to jog. Anyway I haven't been jogging since my last run which was Standard Chartered KL marathon 2009. I'm hoping to pick up jogging again though after my A levels and hopefully able to rope Kean Lee into jogging too. He dislike exercising! Which is a big No NO for me.

I would recommend this for those who jogs or cycle especially as it is real convenient. Oh and housewifey too! Good company while doing housework alone! hehehe! One drawback is their 2GB capacity. How I wish they would come out with a version with bigger capacity.

-XoXo-

Its a Sunny sunny Day~

2010-04-28T13:03:00.003+08:00

Rise and Shine people!

Its a bright and sunny day!

with the afternoon sun warming up the Earth!

.....

3 more days before April 2010 pass us by

Time is ticking and wasting away

...

The pressure is on

exam is nearing

Everybody getting stressed up

We're gonna be evaluated.

....

Life is always about making decision

everymove we make will be observed

every decision is critically analysed, disected, criticised

....

What are we chasing after?

Money and Fame?

Happiness and Serenity?

....Just a random post...

Springing April~

2010-04-27T18:42:00.003+08:00

Its raining heavily outside now..I'm currently stuck in the CITC (Communication IT Centre), can't seem to go anywhere got of the rain. So I'm here reading some blogs, reading wiki and updating.

I know I've been MIA-ing for quite some time. Been catching up on my studies. I've got a dateline to meet. I hope to update often though as I've got alot of things that I want to post but like I've said previously, I just ain't got the time.

Kean Lee parents took me out for dinner on Sunday. I didn't want to follow but his mom insisted. She was really nice. They took me out for dinner three times to date since last year. Kean Lee said his mom really likes me, whenever he gets into the car, the 1st or 2nd line is always asking bout' me. Mainly whether they need to takeaway dinner for me. Once, they purposely made a trip back to hostel to send me dinner even though they wanted to go out shopping after their dinner/ before sending Kean Lee back to hostel. I always insist that I didn't want dinner but I guess his mom is as persistent as me.

Anyway we ate Bak Kut Teh. YUMM!!! I've been craving for a proper yummy meal since my parents didn't came down last weekend to visit me. I really appreciated it when his mom insisted that I join them for dinner.

Note: His parents doesn't know bout' us yet.

Ahh~ I feel really really blessed.

*hearts*

4 Him

2010-04-14T10:44:00.001+08:00

Recently I've been listening to their songs. Eventhought this album is not their latest album but I was able to purchase them and now I am just drawn to some of their songs. I guess these songs just spoke to me at this point of time as some songs spoke to me in the past..

I can't seem to elaborate much.

These are some of my fav. songs in this album.

The basics of life
For future generations
A strange way to save the world
Great Awakening
The voice of God

MooooWeeee!!

2010-04-12T09:05:00.001+08:00

Ahh yess...about my ice skating plan that I mentioned in the previous post.

Well, after my trials, I did not get to ice skate (unfortunately). My dearest said that it would probably be a better decision if we were to go ice skating after our A levels as we will not be bogg down with the thoughts of having to finish our studies and the thought of exam is round the corner. I thought and I thought...and yeah, he is right, ice skating can wait. So my venting on going ice skating after trials was just a venting of thought after all.

However, we did went for movies! hehe..actually one movie only since after trials. We watched...

How to train your dragon.. Not in 3D..heh..

Since I read 2 movie review and both of the review said that it was worth watching and I thought why not since I needed a movie which offers a good laugh. But at the end of the movie, I thought it was ok nia. It was funny but it was a forgetable movie unlike Iron man which I can watch over and over again and still laugh at the same scene ( which seldom happen).

My advice before watching this movie, DO NOT watch the trailer! I repeat! DONOT watch the trailer or it'll just spoil the movie like how it did for me. And well, just buy a DVD and watch it at home. Not worth the money to watch in the cinema. Save the money for Iron Man 2 =D

Midnight ~

2010-04-10T23:03:00.002+08:00

Headache!!!

Seriously, I'm having a headache now. Actually since just now before I went for youth. Anyway took a panadol, hope it'll go away soon coz' I've got so much to do.

And my laptop touch pad is PMS-ing on me again!

Honestly I was kinda heated up just before going for youth.

I do realise that my internal exams results have been not up to the standard, and I do realise that I've got one more month only before my external exam starts, and I do also realise that I've got alot to cover to be well prepared for my exams. But that doesn't mean that my daily activities are just study, eat and sleep!

.....These were what he said...

" I just don't understand why did you choose to go to an event when your exam is so near"

" You should know whether you should go to youth or stay back to study"

" why do you want to come back home? Can you study better at home or in hostel?"

"Life is not just about studies alone!"...

" and you are right! Life is not just about studies alone but knowing that time is not at your side, you should know what your priorities are! Some things are to be sacrificed"

" You must have a reason with everything that you decide to do"

Yes I do agree that some things we do, we must have a reason but some things we just do out of spontaneousity or we just want to do it.

Or in other words, just accept it that I'm unable to think as deeply as you do of why I do some things. My mind is just not develop that way/ capability of mature thinking is not as much as yours.

Haih.......

What did we learnt in youth today?

Is there anything that is impossible to forgive?

To me, as far as I can say there is nothing in this world that is impossible to be forgiven for. For time will heal all wounds. I did experience and wrap myself in hatred and grudge against someone and I thought that I will not be able to forgive that person for hurting me and caused me so much pain within but like I said, time and prayers heal all wounds. I learnt to let go and forgive and of course, move on.

I realise that holding on to that grudges and hatred will only eat me up from within and make me a bitter person. Thus letting go is best solution to free youself from the bitterness. And I must say, it is not as easy as it sound.

Happy forgiving =D

p.s : what was written above above was just my venting of my thoughts and emotions =)

Aloha~

2010-04-10T19:47:00.002+08:00

Aww man! One week has passed and my scheduled post was not even posted!..ish...wonder where went wrong...hmmm..

I've got so many updates that i want to post up but I just ain't got the time. The whole of last week was study study study for me. Even yesterday which was a Friday, I spent the whole night till morning studying....

Haih...What to do, my trial results suck till the max.But I'm not giving up at all! Now I'm putting my full effort to finish studying all my topics for each and every subject that I'm taking. Hoping to finish everything before end of this month so that I can focus entirely on my past years and answering questions.

Let me just give you a brief idea on how much I've got to study.

Biology - 10 big chapters and I've only covered 5 so far.
Chemistry - 25 ( big and small chapters) and I've only covered 8 chapters.
Physics - 20 chapters and I've covered 17 chapters ( Thank Goodness!)
Mathematics - Applied Maths covered all
Pure Maths all except Differentiation & Integration topic (which is a big topic!)

I've didn't even break it down for you yet. I'll spare you guys on the details unless you really want to know what I've got to study.

I'm sure some would ask ' Why put in your full effort now when you've got one whole year of last year to put in your full effort' Well for that question, all I can say is that every student will have their downfall..I did not put in enough efford..thats why.....

Ahh well, this is what you get when you sign up for A levels. So peeps, think carefully before going into any course.

Cheerios

^^

Me no Stable...

2010-04-03T23:52:00.002+08:00

Hi people!

I actually finished my trials on the 31st of March and I really did want to update asap, infact I wanted to update on Friday at least but on Friday, Bloggers gave me a hard time. I couldn't sign in! They said I had an error and for which a computer noob like me would not know what to do, so I just shut down my computer and hope that it'll work the next day and what do ya know, It worked!

So how was trials? It was face smacking, head bangingly TOUGH. Honestly I do not know what to say to people whenever they ask me about my studies. "Ok.. I'm tryinng my best to do well..pushing hard..." Always giving the same answer. And how much can people say? " Ah, don't worry, you'll do fine. ' I'm sure it'll be alright.''

Everyone need encouragements and even more at certain point of time. I certainly am one of those who needs encouragement and not being pushed or given the reverse phsycology game.

I know I have to study harder and smarter. I know time is not on my side knowing that my finals is in 5 weeks time. I know I have to put in 10 hours of studies if i have to. I know I need to be aggresive and take all the opportunity that i have. I know I must start taking initiatives. I know.......

What is the point of gaining everything in the world and loosing my own soul?

What is the point of focusing all your years in climbing the corporate world to become a CEO and end up looking back and realise that you did not do anything at all.

What is the point of pursueing your career and neglect your family. when you finally realise it, its too late.

Whats the point of studying so hard??? just to get that qualification to be able to get the scholarship? to be able to go to desired, top Universities?

I do not want to lose myself! Lose the one I love!

********

Sometimes I just keep quiet is not because I got nothing to say. Some things I do not say because you are you.

************

Tommorow is EASTER.

John 3 :16 - For God so love the world that He gave His only beloved son that whomsoever believe in Him will not perish and have eternal life.

I hate myself for forgetting Easter. I hate myself for being so absorbed into my studies and all I know is to study. I hate myself for neglecting Him...

**********

I do know that not everybody has the gift to encourage as the same to not everybody have that gift to console someone. I know I don't..

***********

Global Climate Meltdown!!!

2010-04-03T23:07:00.002+08:00

Its SO FREAKING hot Hot HOTTT! back here in Kota Kemuning!!!

Those who do know me well,
I feel cold, chilled easily
and I mean Easily/ UBER sensitive cold receptors

Back in TARC hostel,
It rains(pouring rain) almost every single day there
In the late morning- afternoon, it does get super hot
BUT in the evening - night - next morning,
the temperature DO drop like crazy
I have to wear my sweater even without the fan on
and even my room floor gets cold!
I'm seriously not exaggerating

Anyway,
Since my source says it rains almost everyday back here in KK,
I thought the temperature would also drop at night

but NOO~
There is still the HOT and STUFFY feeling in the air
LUCKILY I have the luxury of air-con
If not, I think I would soak myself in the swimming pool to sleep...

**************************

Who is to blame for this crazy temperature?
I don't remember Malaysia being this hot 5 years ago
Part of the migration of Malaysians to other countries is due to our country's overall temperature rise beside the 'other' factors

I do realise that
switching on the air- con everyday definately does not help reduce global warming
and Printing lots of photocopied notes/books! do not help save the trees

We ourselves cause this global warming
but we only know how to point fingers and blame
blame the authorities for not taking actions
blame for not educating public
blame ____ for burning rubbish in the open
blame ____ for ______________
Most of us know how to fill in the blanks

************

I know this seems like its half hanging
I guess I'm just letting the heat affect me
...heh....

Food for thought then =)

Picka boo!

2010-03-23T02:49:00.002+08:00

What is wrong with some people nowadays? Can't they read that female dormitories are strictly for females only???

I'm fine with you wanting to bring over your male counterpart/companion/partner/boyfriend for a visit to your room. I'm not too ok with your male 'friend' staying overnight in your room, anyway its not my room so its non of my business. BUT it gets not ok at all when your male 'friend' starts using the FEMALE common toilet ( where all females on that floor shares the same toilet to bathe and do whatever that female does) to do your Male business. And what was worse is that the female friend actually washes the male friend clothes and hangs it out in the open just outside her door.

So if you still don't get what i'm talking about, its actually my dorm next door neighbour. You see, since beginning of the year, her boyfriend has been going over to her room and since then he's been making himself at home, sleeping over her place often, using the female toilet to do his business and his girlfriend even washes his clothes! Yes! it is true! Once i was washing my laundry and coincidently she was beside me washing ~~her~~ his clothes! I was surprise to see that she was so open in washing his clothes in the toilet when I and other females dorm mates were around. She even hung his clothes outside her room even with his underwear! I was literally like 'WTH?!?!'

The toilet part to me was really tooo much of him. At first I did not believe my floormate who told me she often sees him in the female toilet and there was once when she was bathing, he came in to do his business in the other cubicle. How did she know it was a 'he'? She said he cleared his troat, the clearing voice sounded very deep and male-ish. Anyway quite recently, I just came back from college and so very unfortunate, I saw him coming out of her room, he made eye contact with me (aka saw me) and nonchalantly he just turn and went into the toilet! I was dumb struck, ticked off, disgusted!

Come on! If you want to go to your girlfriend's room, please do it discretely ( Yes, he walks up the stairs to her room on the 3rd floor as if he was going back to his own room). If you want to use the female common toilet, make sure there is no other girls around before using it. For goodness sake, non of use want to see a guy using the toilet that we ( girls) use to bathe!

Common sensely think, what do you think others would think about you or look at you when they know that your boyfriend is practically living with you? Honestly the sight of him( my neighbours boyfriend) just disgust me. I have no respect of her at all. Where is your dignity?

Oh by the way, even her ( my neighbour) roommate brings her boyfriend to her room too very openly.

I guess I'm just enlightening you people about some things that are happening around hostel especially my floor.

Anyway, my trials starts today at 8.30am ( heh ..i know i know i should be sleeping now) but i'm just to darn excited! xD..so I won't be updating often.

Wish me luck!

Toodles!

Lotsalove!

--XoXo--

Ice skating

2010-03-18T02:50:00.002+08:00

Ice skating.

The title says it all.
I just have this sudden urge to go ice skating...
oh what about tomorrow then!

Hold on a minute, I can't!
Why?
Coz'
1. my trials is next week
2. I haven't finish studying
3. Its freaking expensive to skate during the school holidays
4. school holidays = crowds ( hate squeezing with em')

Bah!!
I guess i'll just go after my trials.
I WILL GO after my trials!
*
*
*
*
*

I just caught a glimps of a figure skating competition video clip on tv and i had flash back on how good it used to feel when i was skating and the wind was blowing on my face, skating gracefully, feeling confident and fresh! Thats when i had this 'craving'/urge to want to skate.

I can't exactly remember when was the 1st time i ice skate but i do remember how i know how to ice skate. It all started from roller blading. I did not learnt how to do so alone. It was actually my dad who taught me to roller blade on a badminton court! And from there, he brought me to the ice skating ring and slowly hone my skating skills. The best part is that my dad did not know how to skate at all! neither on roller blades nor ice skates. Whenever he was teaching me, he was wearing slippers and i was with the skates. Even in the skating ring, he was outside the ring instructing me, guiding me. How cool is that!

The secret to him being able to teach me how to skate even though he did not know how to is his observing skills. Never underestimate the power of the observing skills and I admire my dad for that! =D

I am very proud that i am able to ice skate and even more proud when i told them that my dad was the one who taught me to skate even thought he himself did not know how to. Of course my ice skating skills cannot be compared to those figure skaters who took lessons from professionals. I cannot do stunts like a hop or a spin but at least i know my basics very well.

I find figure skating a very graceful sport. Its just so beautiful watching professional skaters glide on the ice, moving so 'swiftly'. Even though i cannot do stunts but i enjoy skating and feeling the wind on my face and fantasising being able to move like how figure skaters are able to. Its just a whole new and different experience for me.

P.S : Dear, i want to go ice skating *puppy eyes*

home!! =D

2010-03-15T04:47:00.002+08:00

Today is not exactly Sunday but i'm finally home. and i'm on my comfy bed now blogging.

Sunday~

Woke up kinda late today about 12 noon ( i slept quite late the day b4 so yeah....) After washing up, i took my time packing all my books and notes and tutorials. By the time i finish packing, it was already 3pm and somehow i just felt kinda slow in doing things/ tired so after packing i took my nap. I'm suppose to be studying but i was just too excited to go home. I lazed around and waited for my parents to pick me up for dinner.

I didn't had a good lunch, i had a box of chocolate milk and biscuits for lunch.. so i was kinda looking forward for a good dinner. Anyway, about 6.20pm, I went down to the canteen to meet up with kean lee and ate twisties (chezzy flavour) *Yumm!* =D

Spent some time just accompanying one another before we both leave for home. It was a beautiful evening i must say. The sky was hue blue with a tinge of orange sunset. Beautiful and mesmerising. We both do enjoy taking evening strolls together, feeling the wind in our face and the fresh air.

After we parted, i continue to wait for my parents while trying to read some biology. I was expecting them to arrive about 8pm but they came half an hour later. So, the plan was to eat a simple meal and go home. Dad drove us to a backlane restaurant where they were famous for their steam fish. If i'm not mistaken its in Raja Laut, Restaurant Ong Lai ( Goh Kee). We reached there about 9pm and it was full house as we still had to wait for a table. And by the time our food came, it was already 10pm! Anyway, the bill came up to rm155, 4 person ate for rm155! crazy wei..well, we ordered steam fish, prawns ( as big as my hand! actually my hands not that big so don't hav to be so shock..xD), vegetable, fried oysters and noodles. Each person had 2 prawns and I had 3 big prawns mainly coz' mom only ate 1. Seafood's usually the dishes that is costly. Anyway Its been quite some time since i had such yummy meal so i just wallopp whatever there is..heh..

So thats my day for Sunday. The best part for today was the food! hehe..well of course i did enjoy my little evening stroll and home sweet home =D

fluttery fluuu...hehe

2010-03-14T03:45:00.002+08:00

Ahh ~ another day has come and gone. Its 4am, sunday morning! ( told ya my body clock is kinda out)..heh..

Today was another day of studying, eating and more studying with kean lee in hostel. Studying together, the sight of seeing our partner working hard for the little future and dream that we both hope for really encourages me to wanting to do the same to put in our best and not give up.

As for tomorrow, I will be going home for the week break before coming back to hostel again on the 21st of march to sit for my trials.

------------------------------------------------------

I was once an Interact Club BOD and did organise International Understanding Day back then and I know how stressful and crazy it can get organising events. Anyway, I am quite proud of this year Interact Club BOD as they somewhat did a good job in marketing, advertising and running the I.U Day. Why do i say so? Coz' I did not attend the event at all but just by reading their blog, I can so feel their excitement, energy, enthusiasism and dedication in the making of the event. Therefore, I proudly introduce http://www.interactsmkss17.blogspot.com.
I find it interesting, knowing what they did just to raise funds etc. I had my times and they had theirs. Those were the days.

Anyways, I'm signing off now. I'm so looking forward to home and good home cooked food! I've been eating like biscuits and more biscuits and junks for my meals * yucks*
Nothing makes you miss home then staying away from home.

HOME SWEET HOME here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D

Twinkles

2010-03-13T03:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we're just so afraid what others might think of when they know that we're in a relationship with someone. When the phrase 'we're in love' is being used, people will often squint their eyes and ask'' what do you mean by in love?' 'are you really in love or isit just a moment of feeling happy and good being around with this somebody?' It is normal that when statement is being said, people will have questions flooding their head, wondering what makes you say so, why are you so sure that you're in love instead of just an infatuation? etc. Considering that people nowadays tend to abuse the word 'love'.

Adults especially our parents will usually be sceptical and thinks that young adults are incapable of juggling relationships and studies at the same time thus concluding to us that it is just not the right time to get into a relationship. So when is the right time to get into a relationship? After SPM? When we're in university? or after we've gotten a stable job and able to support ourselves then only we should start looking for our life partners?

I am not saying that all young adults are able to handle both relationship and studies at the same time but if we do not get into a relationship, experience the little cuts and bruises of loving someone, how are we to grow emotionally, mentally or grow in maturity? Telling us that it is not the right time isn't gonna help either. It will just leave us feeling unfair and even after we do get into a relationship, it is not easy to open up to our parents as deep inside, we do still want our parents support and advices to these matters of the heart.

Being in a relationship can either build you or break you at a certain point of time. When both are lovey-dovey, happily in each others arms, one will be glad that they have each other and often seem to think that 'they're made for each other'. However when the road gets bumpy, things doesn't seem to go well and characters starts to show, those who cannot endure and cannot take it will choose the easy way out which is the breakup. If life were that easy, which is to get into a relationship just because we get along well and have alot in common and breakup just as easily because of an argument or problem that arises and can't be solved , then where would commitment stand in and where would love fit in?

Being in a relationship,getting a life partner is not just having all the good times, its not just loving one another by holding hands, embracing but It is the beauty and the bumpy roads that strengthens the relationship. Getting through hard times and overcoming problems together, looking out for one another, enjoying everything that is done together, those are the memories that cannot be bought and erase just as it is.

People always say that love makes one blind, love makes you go 'cloud nine'.
Love makes the world seems like a better place.

Do share your thoughts if you have any. =D

Rambles from hostel canteen =D

2010-03-13T03:09:00.000+08:00

The night doesn't seem that peaceful after all when your staying over the weekends in hostel.

I'm currently in the Hostel canteen area where i was suppose to be stuyding but i thought of utilising the facilities that is provided ( the wireless internet connection)...heh..

anyways, i'm not alone here, there are quite a number of people still up and awake, mostly using laptops and a small amount doing course work. There are some who come out from their rooms at weird hours (3am) just to go online.

Yes, I'm still awake at this hour of time ( 3.30am). Trials is just around the corner which is 23rd of march till end of the month. There is just so much to cover, so many things that need to be done. I've been staying up for the past 3 days just to study and this is my plan till next week. My body clock has somewhat been turn upside down but its ok coz' I'm burning as much midnight oil as possible now as I don't want to stay up during the exam period.

Hopefully i'm able to last till end of this month!

This is my table with books and my laptop sprawled all over. Most of it is not my books tho..heh

Nostalgy

2010-01-31T01:15:00.000+08:00

My sister came into my room holding a very familiar magazine... she asked whether I'd want to read the latest school year book(2009). I wasn't too trilled or excited about looking through it but I just told her "ok, just leave it on my bed." and she was gone leaving magazine behind.

I know my pictures will not be in the magazine.. I know I have no memories being in SMK SS17 which is why i was disinterested in flipping through the pages of magazine which I know i have no part in it in year 2009. However, I was curious to see who was the head prefect(2009) and who was the editor(2009) for the magazine and partly I kinda wanted to ''take a break'' from doing my revision...heh..

It started with flipping through the pages, looking at the pictures only....
every passing pictures are people whom deem strangers to me or even if I did seen them before, they weren't people who I had memories with..

What caught my attention was when I was flipping through the class album section... I remembered that there were quite a number of friends who i knew who was studying form6 in my former school, so I took out my magnifying glass( not literally) and tried spotting people that I once knew.

Surprise Surprise (or maybe not so) I found those people whom some I knew back in primary school. Some did change, many still look the same. Wonder how they are doing now... Continue on my flipping of pages, I spotted my little sister in the form1 section. I must say, she looks adorable there..haha..

When I reached the senior page section, I felt so nostalgic, remembering back during my time (gosh I feel so old now) we'll bring our camera's to camwhore and our super tall class monitor will bring his Nikon DSL to shot and capture all the candid moments and memories..as I feel myself being absorbed back into my secondary school year once again, I looked through the magazine from the front page again and this time, really capturing what I am looking through..

I realised that this current year book is the 13th year book that was published. There and then i remembered back in form4, I was one of the producing committee for this year book. What a year it was..rushing deadlines(as usual) and post-poning deadlines(very common). As i flip the pages( this time i did it slowly), I reach the high achiever for spm where they did their interviewing of some of the top scorers (which I was not in it...>.<). The pictures that was posted looked very familiar indeed..they were my former classmates! Remembering back the laughter we shared, the silly things we( more of they) did in class..

those times where our class was usually picked to go for outings;

the times when I was the assistant secretary for Interact Club..organising the I.U Day outside of school;

going out for taekwondo tournaments which gave me a different experience of taekwondo,staying back in school for intensive training (plus get to skip class);

went for chess tournaments too and getting to meet really pro players..plus getting free ride home from my chess club teacher advisor after tournaments =D

being a sales person selling stuff over the counter as a koperasi member, selling my '0h-so-yummy' buchetta's during Hari Koperasi..I remembered having to bring my mini toaster all the way from home and rushing to carefour to buy more ingredients coz' everybody loves it till they wanted more;

Disected a frog!!!

and many more times when we stayed back for ko-ku, we would walk together to ss15 to eat lunch.. add in some cc(cyber cafe) and a game of pool..what an adventure it was!

Oh! Did I mention that we get allowence too when we go out for tournaments..hehe..fun!..xD

and And! the one day trip where 5 to 6 tourist buses full with japanese students came to our school when I was in form 4 and form5! Each selected students get a japanese partner for that day and entertain them by interacting with them. Those were really fun time plus I got to know 2 cute japanese guy for that 2 years of the occasion =D

Ahhhh~ those were the days...

...and I always thought that i did not have any interesting moments in secondary school...

...I guess it was all covered by the memories of me always being alone in school..

I'm not a 'sad case' person after all..hehe

and I really do love and appreciate the last 2 years of my secondary school life.

P.S: To all my former classmates, I really hope that we could catch up one day soon. Really miss you all!

17-01-2010

2010-01-17T20:16:00.000+08:00

Today passed as like any other ordinary day. People go grocery shopping as usual, eat their 3 meals a day as usual, nothing out of the blue but yet to me, today the 17th of January is a very special day indeed. Nostalgic day for me as i remember back my other years of this day....

Year 2010 will be a new start for me for so many different things in so many ways....

It beautiful to have found that someone to share my thoughts with yet...
It hurts to realise certain things..

With the 3 people whom I spend most/all of my years with have overlooked this beautiful day, my heart aches but its ok.

I promise myself that i will not cry today but i know i will break that promise....

Thank you for those who remembered this day....

I treasure every single moment with you in my heart

Perth!

2009-11-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

This is what happens when you go to the beach during summer....

*Big Smiles*

->Don't miss me! i know you will

Lalalalalala~~~

2009-10-22T16:36:00.000+08:00

Hey there,

Really sorry for the emo/weird post. I know it was quite random..hehe..well thats just me i guess. Anyway, took my second AS paper on Monday which was General Paper. It was fun , i must say. Basically coz' i could finish 2 long essays in 2 hours time and wrote it with enjoyment.hah! Another random blab.....i know.....

Just the other day, was walking with a friend of mine and he suddenly brought up a topic about mini skirts. He was saying he saw a girl wearing a super mini mini skirt that revealed like 3/4 of her thighs and i curtly replied saying " she was assless rite?" He was like "yea yea, she was quite thin". Well, too my own surprise i replied " well yeah, most who wears mini skirts are quite flat, i'm not saying all who wears mini skirts are thin and shapeless but its just because they do not have bumbs thats why they are able to wear super short ones." And to prove him right, for the rest of the few days, whenever we saw girls with mini skirts, we start criticising.....heh...it was kinda fun, i must say =D and yeah, most of the ones who wore mini skirts were thin.... I guess this is what you do when you're in the biggest college in Malaysia, look and criticise =D..heh..

Anyway, just another short entry of randomness.

Signing out from TARC CITC

*mUahKs *
;D

everything alright?

2009-10-15T19:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder...what is behind that smile...

Whenever i visit a friend's blog and there seem to be melancholy entries, i do somehow feel the silent cry's that they scream out. and whenever the melancholy entries seem to linger on in few many more entries, i feel for them but i do not know what to do nor how to console. Many times its the heart that longs to reach out but the mind that stops me from doing it. What will i say? How will I approach? What will he/she thinks if i suddenly ask? Even with my close friend, i find it hard to ask. Whenever I do meet them, and the smiles that they don upon their face, i tend to wonder are you really smiling or isit just a mask you're force to put up.

A friend once told me, its ok to say you are not ok ; its ok to cry ; its ok to feel hurt ; people notice when you're sad, your mouth may smile but your eyes do not.

I admire people who can still put up a smile when they are faced with many problems. Its either they smile their hurts off or they're just forced to smile.

I just recieved a shocking news about a friend. As shocking as it may seem to me, the people around me and i'm sure even shocking to this friend herself, she still manage to pull up a smile and cheery voice to greet me. My heart longs to know how you are exactly, how you feel, scared?confused? but me myself just couldn't cook up the courage to ask. Disappointed at myself. Consoling was never a strength of mine. All i can hope and do now is to pray that all will be well for you. My best wishes and a hug to you, all of you who are in pain and hurting. With love sincerely.

AS

2009-10-15T19:26:00.000+08:00

15 October 2009

Friends move on, life goes on, new love comes by, new problems arise, old hurts never seem to die.

Hello blog,

Gosh, couldn't believe my last entry was during my last day of mid term exam and today is my 1st day of my AS A Lvl exam...

Many a times i've been wanting to update but words just don't seem to flow. Its usually an unfinished entry or a blank page.

Feeling slightly melancholy today. Maybe its because of the exam paper or maybe its the music that i'm listening to. I call those the emo songs, as much as they calms me down, listen to those music too much will ignite the melancholy feeling.

Today will be a short entry. My wishes to all who are going to take any major or minor exam. All the best.

Cheerios =)

Krispy Kreme!

2009-05-09T01:41:00.000+08:00

Tea anyone? xD

Finally! I finished my midterm exam!!!! but not exactly relief that it is over coz there's still the results to recieve and have to work harder for the AS trials which will be around the corner. Time flies. >.< Anyway, after exam, went out with a college friend of mine to Time Square! Why Time Square? coz...

Yes!!! Krispy Kremes! Actually I never heard of this doughnut company before until this friend of mine who was soooooo....and i mean SOOooo excited that it finally open a branch in Malaysia that he wanted to go and buy since the first day it opened but didn't have the chance, so we went after the exam. They had quite a nice place to chill and eat and relax.

Sweet delights =D
can you see how much calories in there... @.@

They have 2 levels; level 1 is where they sell and make the doughnuts;
level 2, chill relax talk eat and enjoy. ^^

Basically we went to Time Square just to eat.haha...okla, put it in a nicer way, to treat ourselves, indulge in what we want. =D Which means, I finally got to eat my SUBWAY that i've been craving!!!!! I tell you, the first bite of my Subway was MMMmmmmmmm, trigerring all my taste budssssss.....yuummmmmmyyyy.....hehe..I forgot to take the picture of my subway...too occupied with savouring and enjoying the moment..xD...My friend didn't eat Subway though, coz' he was craving for something else, KFC...and we went KFC after my Subway...and no, i did not eat anything in KFC..xD

Ohhh! and and there was this chocolate event where the deputy prime minister was there to launch it. I think it was to promote chocolate especially Malaysian coco/chocolate. There was some cool chocolate artworks.

Chocolate castle! cool huh? =D

Masquerade...i like this....vintage-ish and mysterious

Some sort of anime character i think, this is more of the fine art, can't really see the details here =/

ZoOm Malaysia! xD

Man sculpture

But-ter-fly; its made purely chocolate like the rest that i've posted.
Looks real right?

Upclose

Last but not least............Mr.Bean!
This is for those Mr.Bean fans out there..hehe

After eating, and looking at the artworks, we didn't really had time to go walk around and shop... =( .....but i told myself, i must bring my girlfriends to shop together in Time Square one day, which i hope will be soon. =D

Updated!

2009-05-09T00:51:00.001+08:00

Hey alll!!!!

Pai seh Pai seh, so long didn't update my blog d. Typical me...xD...which is why I told myself i must update my blog NOW...and hopefully i don't get distracted and end up not updating again.......

Welllll......alot have happened since the last time i updated. Mostly about my college life. Gosh i love college!...hehehe...

I did some game testing quite some time ago for the games and telematch orientation 2009 May intake. As some of you might not know, I'm in the SWC, Student Welfare Committee as a Program Coordinator in this event. Anyway, quite fun and hilarious the way my volunteered helpers tried out the games. Will let you just enjoy some of the pictures. ^^

Coordination Breakdown :
the guys are being tied at the legs and they have to walk a classroom length =D

Straw building :
they have to build a structure using only straws given a scissor, interesting ;)

Caterpillar walk :
this is the butt toning game..hahha..coz' non of their legs are suppose to touch the floor and they have to caterpillar walk a distance =D

Blow ping pong Blow! :
as you can see, ping pong ball must be blown from one cup to the other till the end. Not easy i must say ;)

Ohh yea yea..there was an Easter evangelical event that was done by the chinese christian fellowship on 6th of April. I tell you, it was superb and really impressive. Everything from the ushers to the performance and the message from the pastor. Most of the people who turned up was from the diploma courses.

They started off with ice-breaking game.

Then, a duet by ex-tarcians

After that, they had a play, it was full, rich from the facial expressions, music, the intensity, everything, it was complete and the message sent through was clear. I didn't take pictures of the whole play, hope you guys understand what is posted. Sorry bout the blurrness coz its a play, the actors are moving around, couldn't capture a clear pic.

After the play, there was one more singing performance. after that a pastor came up to share and there was testimonial time in between. I would say it was definately something different , well organised, the message was straight forward and clear, really enriching for me and i hope it was enriching for those non christian that came. So much effort was put in by the chinese christian fellowship committe, cheers to them! =D

With this, I end my update!..more updates to come don't worry ;)
P.s : I got distracted.....xD

Surprise surprisee

2009-01-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

*SJ10C*

Well well, what can i say...I got a pleasant surprise from my fellow classmates on Monday. I definately did not expect anything as I just got to know my classmates for like less than 2 weeks. Before that, a little about SJ10C. My class consist of student's from different places in Malaysia. From KL to Ipoh, Negeri Sembilan, Johor, Pahang, and even Sarawak. We're like one big family, we/they welcome any new comer( irrespective of races) and make them feel that they belong . And we always stick together(well most of the time in campus ) especially during lunch time.

Anyway like i was saying earlier, on Monday after I-forgotten-what-lecture, we were all heading for the canteen for lunch. There was this long corridor that we hav to walk to reach the canteen, as we were walking, suddenly my whole class burst out singing ''Happy Birthday'' song not just once but until the corridor ended. I was embarressed and surpriced as well, and i thought that was the end of it but they shared and bought me a present, which i did not expect at all. I was very happy indeed.

* My birthday pressie from SJ10C*

* Tada! its an earring, I know its not so clear but its an eiffel tower earring*

* the content of the birthday card*

My 18th birthday was definately embarressing and full of surprises in different kind of way. Thanks guys for the present!.... hehe

JANUARY 17 !!!!!

2009-01-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

January 17, nothing to shout about as its just like any ordinary day except that it is The day when i was born few/many years ago...xD...hehe.

Well, i started college and now i'm in my 2nd week of class and 1st week of staying in a hostel. I'm currently studying Cambridge A level's in Tar college. yes its far from where i'm staying which is why i resided in the college hostel during the weekdays and go home for the weekend. Its like a new adventure for me, a different experience, an exciting one. Honestly I love it there, as in i don't mind the fact that I have to stay away from home, being in a big campus where I have to walk quite a distance everyday, having high school type classroom. I made new friends, having more responsibility, and new personal commitments. Somehow I feel that I'm in TarC for a purpose, besides studying.

One thing that i like most about staying in the hostel is that there is no distraction like Tv's or computers. =D ...During my stay in the hostel, i didn't thought that i would feel home sick until a friend of mine said i was. And when i actually gave a thought about it, maybe i was feeling home sick in a different way. What different way? Well, I don't like to leave my hostel room after coming back from class, just felt that my hostel room is so very comfy and I don't like eating out for dinner, just can't stand outside food, so I would just find something to eat in the 'bunch' of food that i brought. I guess i just miss the comfy-ness of home and home cooked food. Just for the record, I have a lovely roommate, from Kuching Sarawak. how cool is that..haha...

* The only door to my room*

* My comfy bed*

* Big study tablle*

*Being random*

**********************************

Since last year when i found out that my birthday falls exactly on a Saturday, i was so excited and wanted to throw a big birthday party but as time grew closer and i started college, i realised i didn't have time to do so and its not necessary. Therefore, when i came back from hostel on friday, all i wanted was a peaceful and quiet time spent with friends and family, without thinking much of celebrating my birthday, i didn't request anything in particular from my parents as they've always been buying and giving my gifts if i may put it that way. I already feel so blessed.

This year's birthday was none like before. Recieved 25++ birthday greetings, Sword Squad sang for me an 'outstandingly' i-do-not-know-how-many-parts birthday song, blew my birthday candle on a slice of cake bought by Szu Li and got embarrased in public coz' Pastor Lim, Joey, Aaron, Szu Li, Sarah, my sis, Nancy and Lionel sang a loud and i mean LOUD birthday song in Mc-D. Everyone in Mc-D was like looking at us!!! And it seems that i literally turned red....haha...All in all, it was a nice way to end/ start my 'new year'. Thank you for that little gesture of taking me out and buying the slice of cake for me. Really enjoyed myself.

* silly milley*

For me, I don't mind Not recieving any presents on my birthday. What I appreciate most is the birthday greetings which my friends made an effort to wish me. For year 2009, I counted, i recieved 25++ birthday greetings and 2 birthday songs were sang for me. To some, recieving 25 birthday greetings might not be many but to me, i really thank them for making the effort to wish me as I didn't expect any birthday greetings from most of them.

* Hazel nut cheese cake...yummm~*

welcome 2009

2009-01-03T00:23:00.000+08:00

I don't wanna grow up!!!!

How I wish that I could just stop time and hide myself in a corner, where I don't have to think about anything or worry about the future and so on....................haih....Its the day again where I don't know why but I suddenly feel like I'm lost and down. A new year has come, its exciting to look forward to it yet its scary at the same time.

What do I really love to do. Its a question which has been in my head for quite some time yet I don't know. It seems like an easy question or maybe to some it IS a simple question but I just can't seem to answer that 'what do I love doing' question.

I'm starting college next week, Monday. I'm glad that I am able to find a college which has an affordable program for me to pursue.

Lots has been going on since the last time i posted an entry. One thing is that I really enjoyed my holiday. Enjoyed the time spent with my friends, cousins, relatives and not to forget my family.

Just couldn't believe how fast time flies. Before I knew it, christmas has past and new year too.

Happy 2009 people! I'm sure it'll be a interesting year.

*cherios*

Mountain of God

2008-11-08T01:53:00.000+08:00

I wanted to share a song with you guys. If you can't watch the video throught the link, do go to youtube or Godtube to listen. Just type in Third Day - Mountain of God. The lyrics of this song relates, speak, encourage me.

Mountain of God - Third Day

Lyrics

Thought that I was all alone, broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

And I didn't even know that I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

Till You opened my eyes, I'd never knew
That I could'nt ever make it without You

Even though the journey long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through, now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God

As I travel on the road that You have lead me on
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found that You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

I confess from time to time, I lose my way
But You are always there to bring me back again

Sometimes, I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare with what's in front of me
With what's in front of me

Take a Break ;)

2008-10-31T23:22:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had the feeling of the light bulb image in your head lights up, and you are 100% sure of the answer to the question? well, I just experienced it. To the SPM students, no this has nothing to do with any soalan ramalan. Its just a question my friend asked me. I'm those type who always fail to answer IQ questions or questions similar to it. I always cannot get the answer, even if I did get it right, its like a lucky guess which I'm not sure of. So pardon my excitement of blogging this....haha..

Anyway, the question was :

What living thing will bleed your blood when you kill it.

My first reaction was, 'oh no, not these type of question again.' Then this friend of mine insisted me to try and guess. So the next question pop up ' Is this another trick question?' 'No' he said.
Ok, so first try, wrong. Second try, also wrong. Then he said 'come on, very easy wan' Then, it literally was like ''Ting!" I knew what was the answer and was sure of it. haha..never felt that in a long time which is why now super jakun. haha.. So readers, what is your answer to that question?

Love our parents

2008-10-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

Some one shared this e-mail with me and i thought of sharing it with you readers out there.

An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.

The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow".

After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"

The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".

After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"

At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".

A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"

This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"

A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.

When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".

While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.

The moral of the story: If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today". Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.

**********************************************

I guess many of us are guilty of this including me. I tend to get irritated fast at times which is why i felt convicted to share this with you all out there as a reminder to both me and you that our parents did infact brought us up with love and patience. I don't know bout' you guys but I definately feel blessed to be born into my 'oh so wonderful family'..hehe

weeeee!!!

2008-10-28T13:41:00.000+08:00

I'm getting my own laptop!!! *screams of excitement* can you feel the excitement for me too...hahaha.

I'm getting this laptop from my good ol' friend at a good deal. I never expect my parents to actually agree in buying me the laptop or anytime soon especially SPM is like 2 weeks away! So to me, its like a pre-SPM result present, pre- christmas present, pre- birthday present from both my parents and my good ol' friend. I don't know what did I do to deserve this. Well, i guess I'd better work harder to get a good and better result for my SPM. Its worth it though =)

more on friends

2008-10-24T17:53:00.000+08:00

Like what Sarah commented, one would trust their best friend to share everything with them. To those who have these kind of best friend, i envy them. To have friends like that doesn't seem impossible but to me it somehow does.

Often, we're too busy with our own life, with our own things to go out and catch up with our friends. even most is just the usual 'hi, how are you lately?', ' i'm fine thank you', 'ok, glad to hear that' or another version, 'hi, how are you?, 'i'm not fine thank you', 'why? whats bothering you?', 'nah, its nothing'. and the conversation usually ends there. why? coz' when others don't want to open up, we can't force them to. in other words, 'ok, since he/she doesn't want to talk, then might as well leave her alone'.

i'm blank now........i tend to post what i feel and what i'm able to capture in my mind. the longer i think of what to write, i'll go blank, like now. Do you think i'm rash to do this?...anyway, will see what i can add to this entry post in coming time. Do comment if you have any. =)

Don't start

2008-10-24T17:35:00.000+08:00

you know what i'm good at? i'm good at making stupid mistakes. especially small stupid little mistakes that shouldn't be made. In my exam, in my daily life. with my 'couldn't be bothered' attitude, it serves me right i guessss. what the heck, if i can't even handle, avoid these small things how can people trust me? to see their disappointed face........how can i.....useless...idiotic......ugh!..... often, i'm not angry at others but myself.........messing up my life.......................

Don't bother commenting.............

Friends, Best Friends

2008-10-20T17:42:00.000+08:00

Friends.....this word seems so unreal to me, I don't know how to put the right word into what i think about it. Everybody have their own set of friends, I too have friends whom I talk to at times but the odds seems to be heavier on the ''loner'' side. Some of you might say, 'You a loner?' well yeah, believe me, I'm an introvert who is picky with my friends or who I want to talk with.

Lets move on, friends, you can call anyone your friend but what about best friends?closest friend? I'm a person who take friendship as something which is not to play with,I'm sure you readers out there too treasure your friendships. To me, calling a friend my best friend,thats something which must be earned, and to be crushed by your best friend, well I'm not going deeper into that part. Back to what I was saying, its not like just because you have alot in common with that person and you get along well thats why he/she is your best friend. You get along well doesn't mean that person is trustable. Somehow I find it hard to trust people nowadays, I find it hard to trust anyone.

Usually when you're troubled, you seek your best/close friends to talk to right, as they are the person you trust the most. I observe, I listen. People around me whom i know, to see them act, react, respond, and see them having problems of their own, I just can't seem to talk.......Ok, maybe part of it is just me and my attitude problem.Part of it is the trust but part of it is also that I don't want to burden people with anymore thoughts and problems which are not theirs, which is why I can't talk.

Ok, back to my original question, I'm just curious, how do you consider one your best friend/close friend? Let me put it this way, when some one ask you who is your best friend, and you reply ''_____'', why or what made you say him/her as your best friend?

I'm just hoping that you readers can give me some feedback on what do you think. Thanks

Ramble ramble

2008-09-30T15:26:00.000+08:00

I think I’ve been missing for quite some time now. Trials is finally over which could only mean SPM is getting nearer! Well then, now trials is over what can I blog about?..hmm..i’ll jus ramble around then.

I enjoyed working out / stressing up my body the day after trials ended. Didn’t felt that satisfactory of the aching of my body for such a long time. Note: No, I don’t enjoy hurting myself. I just enjoy exercising. Anyway, on Saturday morning, went jogging at the normal route and then straight away go for badminton at the club for 2 hours. Syok I tell you. After that, went for steam bath. Relax relax hehe . Met some old primary school mate, joined them for sauna but immediately regretted. Coz’ I felt so out of place. The things they talk about…awkward. You see, among the primary school mate i’m with, I was the only one studying in Subang where as they all are in Kota Kemuning school. So, they were like talking about their soon to come prom night and who asked who out etc. I was like ‘ok, this is weirdly boring/ childish.’ Mayb coz’ I wasn’t part of it….xD…Luckily my sis came to the rescue. haha Anyway, dad fetch us home and gosh, my body was so exhausted that I fell into a deep sleep but woke up soon after to go Subang Parade.

At Parade, I pulled ( not literally) my dad into the World of Sports, wanted to get a new running shoe as it was sales time and a lot of Mizuno products are on sales. Anyway, I got a new running shoe which cost like RM240 but with 50% off *yay!*. My dad bought 3 Mizuno shirt, sis got a jacket, I got a shirt and a pants all at the 70% off corner. All in all, everything including the shoe, added up to only cost about RM250 which is RM10 more than the original shoe price * big smiles*

* My new Mizuno Wave Aura*

Then we rushed back and quickly rush to BCM ( Bible College Malaysia) as we’re suppose to have our Youth and Adult challenge and later witness a water baptism. Guess what, we lost to the adults this year again, but we were better than last year *smiles* coz we won captain ball ( by one point) out of the frissbee and oestrogen soccer game, which was only the girls can score. It was close coming to a tie though. We will now train soccer! Won’t we girls * winks* haha. Hopefully next year, it won’t end up like our frissbee. Haha. All the training but we still lost to the adults like a lot of points, malu malu.

We had a great fellowship eating dinner together. Forgot to take the pictures of the food though =/ but in a way its good not to have pictures of food too right? Can spare you guys from drooling while reading..hahaha… Soon after, we had praise and worship and a short service before 5 of our dear brother and sisters were baptize in water. *clap clap clap*

Oh did i mention it was raining during our Adult-Youth challenge?...yup, the field was muddy and wet.

*CNS posing after the soccer game*

*Our free mud leg wrap..haha*

Ohh.. I got another new pet! Thanks to uncle Daniel, I got a new fighting fish..hehe

* The blue one is my sister's*

* This fiery red one is mine*

Thats it for now...toodles ;)

Kindness and Love, I will hold on

2008-09-15T15:07:00.000+08:00

Was surfing the net, reading blogs, wondering how’s life for others. Then, I came across a friend post, ‘You do me! I do you!’. Seems close to home, so I read on and later came to realize, I’m somewhat like that too. Or should I put it her way of saying ‘justifying my anger’. I don’t know about you guys but I am guilty of being like that, whenever I feel its unfair on my side, I will want to justify it by various ways(obviously not the going to jail type of various ways) and I guess this has cost me a lot.

When she wrote about the church camp message, showing kindness to others, I felt convicted too as it is written :

“Kindness is literally love in action, showing genuine friendship to others by regarding them as important in God’s sight and worthy of dignity and respect. It involves treating others with courtesy, lending encouragement and freely offering yourself or your resources to help a person in need with no strings attached!”

I guess I’m convicted of my own guilt that I ‘choose’ to show kindness at times. How selfish of me, I did learn my lesson in one way or another and I’m sure there are more to learn. Hey, we do stumble right? The most important thing is that we learn from it and I want to change to a better me for the people around me. Only with God’s grace I will be able to do it.

Even though things did not turn out as I thought it would, I will not give up. I will continue to try mending this friendship up. I’ll do it small steps at a time. And I do pray that you will not let it stay and eat you up from the inside like how it did to me but I’ve learned to ‘overcome’ it with the grace of God. And whatever I did wrong previously, I truly am sorry and I forgive you. Continue to ignore me if you want but I will (try) not ignore you.

p.s : If this ever come across your mind, please do know that I’m not trying to get sympathy or what-so-ever from the readers here. Other method doesn’t seem to get respond and I do not know whether it reached you. So I’m openly saying sorry to show that I still treasure this friendship.

Your identity is safe with me, hope that all is well with you and I love you . =)

I'm sorry ( edited)

2008-09-14T13:01:00.000+08:00

When people say girls are rather sensitive or maybe overly sensitive….Can’t help but agree I think I am one of them. Different people have different things they are extra sensitive at. As a matter of fact, I know guys too have they sensitive side. When it comes to something we take it really serious and end up being broken up etc, you can’t expect us to forgive just in one day. Maybe some of you can but I can’t especially when its matters to do with the heart.

I’m not writing this to complain about being sensitive/overly sensitive etc. I’m writing this to this special someone, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done that have hurt you, the way I respond or should I say did not respond. I’m sure both sides have been hurt deeply in different ways and yes, it took me long enough to get over it. And now I realize that I don’t want to lose our friendship, I don’t want to lose a friend as dear as you. Our conversations might not be the same as before but I just hope that you do not ignore me and to say how I regretted that I did somewhat ignore you. I’m sorry. Truly I am sorry…

(edit)..Now, it seems that my dear friend doesn't want to forgive me, what should i do then? Obviously it hurts to know when that someone doesnt want to accept our apologies even when we actually try to apologize. Haih......I really hope that my dear friend would actually try to talk to resolve things,talk it out to settle it and not keeping everything in....................................................................... heart broken................................................................................................................. :'(

Randomz

2008-09-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hi people, sad to say but i won't be blogging very frequently anytime soon...its not like i blog frequently also.........anyway yeah trials coming soon, well actually it started. I sat my first paper on the first day which was my Chinese paper. Anyway the main paper will start on Monday.

Why do i push myself to study at times? and end up skipping certain things which used to be very important to me....well i want to try my best to excel in my studies, i mean who doesn't. And before you get the wrong idea, no i'm not ignoring God or putting Him aside because of my exam k..please.... So why i want to excel? well, to try to get a scholarship so that my parents wont' be burdened so much when i want to further my studies like next year. O.o

Anyways, these few days i enjoy playing my piano. I don't mean that i don't enjoy playing but usually i seldom play but these few days i look forward to playing the piano. Maybe i just find it destressing playing the piano, or the beautiful notes and tunes of the piano calms me or when i play i just feel so free and relaxed. Something that i never actually felt before.

Its so cold, its been raining like non stop. Its so cold that i don't have to on the fan and my hair stands from the coldness in the air. Maybe its just me coz' my cold receptors super sensitive. My hands and feets get cold easily or should i say they are always colder than others. Don't know why but yeah. I'm used to hearing people say ''why you so cold wan?'' and I'll reply ''don't know, I'm just cold blooded''..... No la, actually not many people noticed how cold my hands and feet are usually. Anyway, why should they notice.haha..

I'm just doing some random talking. Brain freezing here, I think i'd go get a hot chocolate drink..Mmm...then maybe i'll study for awhile or read.

Stay healthy people! God bless

__xoxoxo__

New Member in the Family!!!

2008-08-20T15:58:00.000+08:00

As you can read from the title, yes, our family has extended. No, not extended as in my mom got pregnant. Extended as in we got new pets!!!

Anyway, let me just introduce to you all my darlings ;)

First up is Husky. I got him quite a few years back, can't remember how long he's been with my but definately more than 3 years. He's a rhodesien ridgeback mix. The original ridgeback is much bigger size than this current fella here. Ridgeback originate from Afrika ( if i'm not mistaken) as they're used in lion hunting.

* My faithful ol' guard dog *

* He has a beautiful ridgeback *

* Enjoying the wind *

* Awww....*

Then, i got my second dog. He was given to me by my aunt from Melaka. After she bought Chester, she only realise that she didn't like long hair dog. So she give it to me. I did not realise until i brought Chester back home to KL that he had skin problem, infected with hair lice, and there was once that his hind leg was infested with maggots. Yes, disgusting sight. How the maggots got there, long story. To cut it short, Chester skin/long hair condition is very sensitive to long exposure of damp/wet. So, i have to keep him as dry as possible. About every 1 month or so, Chester and I will have some grooming time. Anyway, about his skin condition, it was after alot of treatment and lots of love and care that Chester became healthy again.

* Tada! One handsome fella :D*

Third is my fish tank. Actually thanks to a good friend, i got back my passion to re- do my fish tank. Why did i give up on my fish tank in the first place? Well, i got quite fed up that all the fishes i keep buying keep die-ing. But now, my fish tank looks....nice?..xD...all i can say is that i love my fishes.

* At first it looked like this *

* Then, i did some redecorating *

Our forth animal, two cute rats!!!..heheh...okla, they are hamsters. They were also given by a friend, Mr. Warwick..hehe...they're both males ( if i'm not mistaken) so no babies. I had a good experience of having 20 plus hamsters at once so now, 2 hamsters is just nice. Nice to see, not nice to hold, they bite >.<

* I named this Pebbles *

* My sis named this Fluffy *

Fifth, our new member in the family. 2 birds. I don't know what is its exact name so i'll just show you the pic. Its my sister's by the way. The white one is male and the green is a female.

* Winter and Spring *

Wait! I'm not done yet. There are still a long list of animals that is waiting for me to include to my ''collection'' ...hehehe.

At the top of my list is a albino python.

* Isn't it a beauty *

* Close up on it's head *

* My new ( soon to be ) pet *

Second on my waiting list is a sugar glider. Its super cute!!!

* Awww...look at it...*

Third on my waiting list is a tarantula, but i didn't get to hold this though. So i took its pic through its transparent cage.

* Cool leh..hehe *

Note : All the picture above are taken using my trusty phone, Sony Ericsson K610i. I really did hold the python and the sugar glider :D

I'm Back!

2008-08-08T00:38:00.001+08:00

Finally!!! I can blog about today!!!

Our whole class was out of school again today. Coz' we went to Taylor College to cheer for our debating team who made it to the finals. I really want to blog about it but i think i'll wait till i get hold of the video of the debate. Stay tune!!!...hehe

* Our dear debaters : Esther, Albert, Shaun, Suhaib *

Oh!! and today on the way home, at the junction, i manage to capture the one and only pic from a car accident. Well, this accident is some sort similar to the one Lionel posted about how a car can get into a drain? This time, i manage to take a pic. hehe...so maybe you'll have a slight understanding on why he posted his entry as ''Cluedo???"

* Its quite blurr as i took in inside the car and it was moving plus raining as you can see *

2008-08-07T23:51:00.000+08:00

On Monday, 4th August, our class was 'choosen' to go for a motivational talk out of school. Guess where we went.......

* Familiar???*

* Ahh...but no, we did not go to Summit, we went to the building next to Summit *

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* Yes! SEGi College ( and no, i'm not promoting for SEGi college) *

* Look at the (not so ) big and cool entrance *

So we went in and was led to the place where they held their talk, it was at the 6th floor. I'm not going to bore you with the content of the talk. Anyway after the talk, we went down to the cafeteria for a short introduction from the American Degree Program( ADP) students before we had our 'light' refreshment which was actually very fulling. We had nasi lemak with choices of curry chicken, sotong sambal, fried egg, sausage, bihun goreng, koay teow goreng, veg, muttons ( you can stop drooling now) as our side dishes. So, after our 'light' refreshment, we went for a little tour around the 'campus' which was only one building space. It was 12 storey high, we planned to start from the top floor and slowly come visiting down to the ground floor. We did start from the highest floor but we couldn't visit every single floor as time does not permit. So we went visiting the library, the labratories and some other floors. After that, we gather back at ground floor and start doing what we do best.....................taking PICS!!!...xD

* Girls scattered everywhere*

* Guys do what they do best, Stoning *

* Soon, they begin to act weird ( as usual..xD )*

* Ok, fine, the girls to acted weird *

* Gosh, i look like a small kid...hahaha...yes my 'new' hair style' *

* Girls group pic!!!*

* Guys group pic!!!*

There you have it, my Monday, spent in SEGi College........

Hey people!

2008-08-07T17:39:00.000+08:00

Super sorry for going missing for quite awhile. And i want to thank those who actually came and check my blog for updates..thank you very muchie for your support...xD...hehehe

Anyway what have i been up to lately? Back in July, I've been quite busy with my interact stuff especially the International Understanding Day. Honestly i was quite stressed out and being quite emo most of the time as there was so many things that had to be done and yet not done ( i'm sure you get what i meant). There was so many last minute thing ( as usual right?) and i as a board member had to learn a dance as a presentation. Anyway I.U Day was on the 26th of July. Typical, the night before JJ and I went down to Subang to a friend house in 17 to finish up every last minute thing that we could possibly think of. JJ had a ''curfew'' that he must be home by 10.30 and we left kk at 8.40. And guess what, the others who were suppose to help was on their way too but to AC( Asia Cafe) to eat dinner......Since i too have not had my dinner that time, i didn't want to feel awkward and dumb doing the stuff alone while they're having fun in AC..so we joined them. We left AC about 9.30 plus and start our last minute thing. Anyway, we stayed there doing the last touch up until almost midnight ( yes my mom knows).

Some info on I.U.Day.

Theme : Viva La Italiano

Venue : Summit Auditorium

Below are some pics of after I.U Day. ( I didnt' manage to take any picture before the event as i was quite busy running up and down....)

* Ed- Vinn and me ( dance partner..xD)*

* phaik wei, phaik teng( yes twins), amanda, me, yin shi*

* JJ, PT, Amanda, Lai, Wen Jie, Chen Nam *

* They look so gloomy under that light*

*Guess which is our Interact president and which is our MC of the day.....Left Evan( president), right MC (forgot what's his name)*

* Goofing around*

And there you have it, our crazy bunch of people...xD...if i manage to get hold of the video of my dance, then i might post it up..hehe..

Confuse

2008-07-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

'Scattered words and empty thoughts seem to pour out from my heart, I've never felt so torn before, it seems that I don't even know where to start.' - I still believe - Jeremy Camp

I read this in sunshinejo's blog, and i took it as that is some sort of how i am. But my version is :

' Chatters and laughters are coming out of my mouth, yet it seems random....I've never felt so confuse before. Confuse about what, you ask...well, that i too am trying to find out. I asked myself over and over why am i behaving like this but my mind seems to go blank. I don't know where to start'

I never know where to start or how to express myself, maybe that is why i did not update my blog, maybe that is why i avoid talking to some people, to avoid expressing or should i say being asked what i don't even know. Like my title in my previous entry " Avoiding", I've been avoiding alot of things. I've been avoiding spending time with God, its not that i don't want to, I still do pray..... but sometimes I don't know how to talk to Him, I don't even know what i'm going through, and this is where my bad habits comes in, I'll bury myself with work, with school stuff, tire myself out, stress myself out over certain things and get worried over things just to get myself occupied. Or when i have the time, i'll just sleep so i don't have to think of anything, Or i'll hang out with friends.......i just don't know why am i feeling, behaving like this???

Avoiding

2008-07-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

Hey people,

I guess I've been MIA (missing in action) again. Or maybe not again for some of you. Bad habit stirring up as I've been avoiding certain things because I don't want to face certain things. Yeah I do that often, avoid...avoid.....avoid........................

Anyway, back to my life. My life doesn't really sux. I feel blessed in alot of ways yet i feel i don't deserve it. Its my own attitude that made it miserable. Typical me and my attitude. I'm not a goody good girl. Deep down in there, there's a monster..hahaha...I'm sure alot of you agree with that..haha......okla, confession time...i love to party and i mean Par-ty!...I know its not adviceble..wait, its a no no actually but......yea i know, i'm in danger, ahh bad bad bad girl.........ok, i don't know what to say...haha...

Non sense update for now...haha..but will try to update something more cheerful? happening?

Ciaozz

this sux

2008-07-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

Life has been awfully quiet here........not the quiet that i like.........maybe this quietness is what i brought to myself. Its so easy getting rid of people but it takes effort being nice and to care for others............

So manythings have happened. Old and New hurts, sadness, anger everything unplesant arise............

Love can change a person for the better or the worst.........................

I've come to not wanting to care about anything but i can't, its just not me.......so i'll just care a little less about everything...................

I've been hurt so deeply by you. I want to forgive and let it pass and continue with life but it seems that everytime i see you i'll have this anger, hate (maybe)................

I hate growing up. How i wish i could just erase everything and start life all over again. Maybe not all over again but i just wish i could stop growing and remain in my innocent years where i don't have to care about anything, don't have to think so much, don't have to..............

Hating this attitude of mine!!!! GOD HELP ME!!! :'(

letting emotions take over.........is this what you call emotional?......... more of stupidity..........yeah i am.......

Burying myself with work seem like a good option now.........

What a week

2008-06-26T14:52:00.000+08:00

So, like i mentioned in my previous entry, today was the day that we have the opportunity to raise money for our senior page. Before we can sell anything, we went shopping!!! haha.

*12 of us went shopping. Doubt you can see their faces, they are the circled ones including me! can you spot carmille?haha..Anyway this is our class photo too, 42 of us total =D*

*So off we go, walk walk walk, shop shop shop*

*after shopping...Eu-Tjin aka ketua tingkatan, aka kuli (pushing trolley) haha*

* Went food court eat lunch...no idea what Eu- Tjin is doing*

Why the 3 pics only have those 3 people, its coz' the rest of the gang were goofing around, attracting attention somewhere in the building.away from us.haha.

So yeah, we bought our stuff, ate lunch at the food court like hungry pirana's coz' everyone was so hungry. Soon after, some had to leave for tuition where as i went to my friend house, her dad was so kind to fetch us back to her house and we worked together and slice the french loaves and cheese.

Enough about yesterday's shopping spree, today our buchetta was not as ''wanted'' as on Monday. Why? Its not because it tasted horrible (it still taste delicious k.) its because there were like 20 plus stalls which are selling so many other interesting stuff.

*asam laksa * ice-cream *cupcakes *herbal eggs *sausages *spaghetti

*chee cheong fan* *sushi *jumble sales *raw vegetables *lots of different drinks

To actually see students selling raw vegetables, it was literally like a market plus everyone was screaming and promoting their goods. Crazy i tell you. So the whole day i was standing there from 8.30 to 12.30pm, no classes, teacher can't teach as 3/4 of the class was down stairs helping out or should i say kehpo-ing. xD

I won't say this week was a waste of time as i did not actually study much but i had a wonderful time with my classmates eventhough there were moody times as we were stressing out but really Thank God for my friends, for the things they indirectly taught me. Somehow i think it has brought us closer as a family as one class eventhough there were some who were not so ''participative''. All in all, this year is my last year in high school and so many things had happen which are worth remembering.

Oh!!and i noticed something. I'm not being racist here but standing behind the counter selling the buchetta's, i can't help but notice chinese are much much more demanding and picky, they somehow must say '' I don't want that one, i want this one.''. -_-" whereas malays are not so picky and they are ok with whichever buchetta u pick for them. Which is why chinese are so 'kia su'. Agree? hahaha

Science ''fun'' day out?

2008-06-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

Today i went to school feeling tired but i just dismissed the thought of feeling tired and weak coz' i know that the feeling will just go away once class started. Surprisingly i couldn't get rid of the tiredness as i was yawning all the way the whole day and i was kinda moody and after recess, i was having a slight headache. Tired girl becomes and angry girl. haha.. anyway i was being straightforward than usual so my friends were like ''why are you so fierce'', i was like''got meh? its the truth what.'' Some keep asking me''why so emo'' but i just dismissed their questions. All in all, i do feel bad for in a way snapping at some of my friends but then its just me, when i'm moody, i rather not talk. I know i know, bad habit and i have tried my best to snap less at people so its a good start =D.

Anyway, today was also a science day, there were science activities going on in the science lab and badminton court. Some pretty cool experiments and science riddles to be solved. Even with my headache, i had fun messing around with the experiments and i finally found out what my blood group is.haha. I don't know whether that experiment accurate anot la but better than not knowing what blood group i am.

Went back to class late as i was having fun with the experiments, found out i had a few homework to do and they super last minute only announced that this thursday, as a class, they want to sell food and drinks to raise class funds to pay for our senior page. They are planning to sell buchetta, hotdog, ice-cream and frizzy longan. Honestly i was very moody as they were so last minute in informing people so i just kept my straight face and silent stare. Haih, for raising money for senior page sake, i have to stay back tomorrow to go shop for the buchetta ingredients. There goes another week.

Hari Koperasi!!!

2008-06-24T17:44:00.000+08:00

As you can read, yesterday(monday) was Hari Koperasi for my school. So i as a member of our school koperasi, had to form a team of 4 and sell food or drinks. It was crazy for me.. gosh i don't know how to say. haha. Anyway, all koperasi members are required to participate and there were about 11 groups selling food, drinks and there were even games.

Food and drinks that were on sales :
*pizza
*sushi
*buchetta (sounds familiar?)
*fries
*frizzy longan
*spaghetti
*bubble tea
*hotdog
*jelly
*ice cream
*mushroom soup....and many more

How did it go?My group, sold buchetta and fries. I was quite excited as i was introducing a new food to be sold rather than the boring old sushi, pizza etc. As no other of my friends in my group know how to prepare buchetta, i had to do all the work (and i rather do all the work...at that time.) Anyway, i brought my oven, extension cords with the rest of the ingredients to school. Everything was prepared and just needed to be baked in the oven. Cut the nonsense and after assembly, we set up our stall. each group were given 4 tables. We set up our table at the nearest plug point that can be found but to our horror, the plug for the whole block B can't function. As we are not the only group using electronics, we all worked together to search for other plug points and luckily block A's was functioning, so we shifted our stall to the opposite side which is nearer to block A and plug everything in and we are ready to go! I placed my ingredients on the table and pre-heat my oven and i was already doing my buchetta. I had to go solo as my team members don't know what to do plus they were also busy frying the fries ( we do everything on the spot so its hot and fresh =D). Soon people were coming down to see whats for sale. At first students came and ask what were we selling, i told them ''buchetta, something new but delicious'' and of course they'll ask how much is it so i said '' 2 for RM1.80'' (not that expensive right?). Their reply was walk away..........When that start to happen, i don't feel confident in selling off all the buchetta's and was thinking of lowering the price but then my team said no and wait. So ok, i wait and continue baking. Slowly, one person came and buy, then two, then more came, soon i had so many orders that i can't even handle. Some booked 2,4,8...gosh i was going crazy. I tried to do it as fast as i can. Even as i was busy and 'stressing' up, i was happy that people love the buchetta. hahaha coz' i had comments like '' Carmille, i thought i don't have to say this but....i want more''..muahahaha...ahh the satisfaction.haha..while some, when i asked them ''nice?'', they wanted to say no but they expression gave way and finally they said ''yes, it was delicious''..hahahhaha..another point to Carmille!!! wee!!! I couldn't satisfy everyone as i messed up some orders and those who ordered 4 or 8 buchetta's, at the end i only can give them 2 while some (my teacher who ordered) can't even get to taste it. I felt so sorry for them.So i told them to come back in the afternoon as we will be selling again during the afternoon session recess time.

Honestly i was tired and reluctant to stay back for another session of selling but i still had to. We didn't have much time to prepare actually as we finished school at 1.10 and the afternoon session recess time was 3.30. I told my team that we should straight away buy the ingredients and start preparing but they were being sweet talked by the guys to go and eat the delicious pork noodle and end up i was the only one saying we should go buy the ingredients rather than eating lunch as it'll waste more time, in the end, i had to give in and follow them for lunch. The pork noodle was really good (i told my dad and he say it must be the ajinomoto..hahaha) but by the time we walked to carefour to buy our ingredients, it was already 2.50. By the time we rushed back to my friend house which was near school, it was already 3.15. I don't know why but i keep having this negative attitude and wanting to give up but thank God for my friends, they keep saying we can do it, everything will be fine. We worked together, cutting the bread, cheese and preparing the meat. Everything was done quite fast but it was already 3.45. Luckily my friends know how to bake the buchetta and 2 of my teammates went back to school first to start selling as i was rather not in the mood to sell anymore (no confidence) plus i was tired. I packed up whatever left that was needed to bring to school and start walking there. I had to walk a few roads before reaching school plus i was tired but thank God i met a schoolmate as he was going to pump petrol for his car so he dropped me at school. Once i reached the stall, i could'nt believe that so many people were crowding at our stall to buy and they did not care about the price at all (unlike the morning sessions) and i was surprise to see my class teacher helping out.haha..so pai seh leh. After everything was done, my class teacher finally got her order and we packed everything, clean up the place and went back to my friend house as my stuff was there.

There you go, a day of crazyness for me. There are pics too but will post them later.

Schools back

2008-06-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

Yes!!! Internet explorer is finally working again! haha. so happy =D but firefox, safari and flock cannot work, weird, does is mean its high time to change comp? *big grin* hahaha. Its ok, i think i'll still wait for my new laptop next year, not that long away. muahaha. Anyway, i want to say sorry for the weird past 2 post. Staying up late really can make one think even more. haha. or maybe its something i've been wanting to say out....

So school's finally started, but this first week of our second semester, we did not study much as students were preparing for Hari Sukan tommorow, Saturday at MPSJ. I don't know whether i want to go or not because i scared it might be boring and a waste of time as i'm not participating in anything but then its my last year in high school! Anyway my exam results, definately could be better, i could have done better if given more time, careless mistakes yadda yadda yadda.....lots of excuse. Whats done is done, keep grumbling and making such a big fuss about it won't change anything. Now have to focus on my weakness and improve. Easier said than done. sigh. i'm not saying i am satisfied with my results as its too average for my parents to accept (or isit that is just what I think about them). I haven't told them yet about my results, will have to soon or when they start asking, i'll get lots of nagging.

That reminds me, i know that people always say ''Don't judge a book by its cover'' as ''Dont judge a person by his/her look'' but then what if someone decide to do something when the bible says we can't for example getting a tattoo as in permanent tattoo. I am disappointed at myself as i could not stop a friend from getting a tattoo, who happens to be a believer and quite a spiritual person, or did i judge him too soon. If i could have said something more at that time...but i was just so lost at speech, shock that he want to get a tattoo on that day itself, already with his money ready and approval from parents. What disappointed me more is that he said he 'consulted' his church leader and they gave the green light for him to get a tattoo......*jaw drop*.... I asked him what he planned to tattoo, he said_____ which signifies freedom. First thing that went through my mind was ''WHAT?!?!?" but i was just too speechless to say anything ( which i later regretted). Ok, maybe you guys might say ''freedom'' is quite general but then......haih....i also don't know la.......

last day of my holidays

2008-06-08T04:29:00.000+08:00

Another day of staying up. Somehow i feel that i won't have the chance to enjoy this peaceful night anytime soon which is why i am taking the opportunity.

I don't want to grow up!!! I want to stay in high school, don't have to step into the scary world, don't have to......but we'll have to move on in life anyway. Time never stop ticking. We'll have to learn to overcome worldly stuff? Learn how to stand firm on what we believe in and not give into temptations. Its not easy, it never is, everybody says its a demanding, scary world out there, be prepared. Gosh, i suddenly feel so small, where i would get pushed around by people, feeling inferior. All these thoughts, feeling small, useless, inferior i think its all a psycologycal thing, it is MR. S.A.Tan who wants us to feel right? To bring us down, make us feel vulnerable.

As i was chatting with a friend earlier, many times we keep finding excuses for ourself, always adding "but" in every sentence. Maybe not all of you but some including me. I guess what you said was right, as we grow, we think more and our little brain start complicating things because we think too much!!! This attitude have to change but...i hate it when i keep having ''but's'' in my sentence. haih... like another friend of mine said, "if you always find excuse for yourself, you will always give excuse and never change. Its all depend on you whether you want to change or not. If you really do want to change, you will not find excuse for yourself." To say i want to change my attitude, it is not easy. In other words, its easier said than done. Playing safe is ok wat. but i guess playing safe won't get us far.

Everything in life comes in pairs. Before you can succeed, you must know what is failure ; to know what is love, pleasure, you must know what is pain ; to improve and learn, you must learn to make mistakes.

Ok, my brain is freezing up now. I can't think anymore. Can't continue my entry, each time trying to write another sentence, my head hurts. Its either i'm thinking too much thats why or i need my rest. This entry is definately very messy. haha. Anyway i hope you'll get my message?? through such short entry. Its better to have written something rather than none.

A Peaceful time to write and think

2008-06-07T03:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry my fellow friends who have been constantly checking my blog for an update but still no update. I've not been online for more than a month actually. Before that, my computer is still working fine, its just that i choose not to online as i do not want to waste my time going online for i know that each time i go online, my butt won't move from the chair for at least 2 hours. So i rather choose not to go online and try to study or get enough rest and also minimize my tv time, plus exam coming thats why.

Anyway, after the exam, i thought i can finally go online but it seems that my computer has been attacked by virus or something like that so my dad took it to the shop to be repaired. More than 5 days of waiting for the computer to be taken back from the shop and when its finally back, my sister and dad was ''competing'' to use the computer so i though just let them use and i'll be able to use it tomorrow. Well then, i did not know what went wrong, the next day, it seems that internet explorer cannot go into the web. It keep appearing ''cannot find server''. Ok so i thought maybe its the server problem but for the next few days i still couldn't go online. At first it did not affect me so much but as time goes by, especially during the holidays, where i dont' have much to do at home, i tried studying alone but wasn't that successful, i studied with a friend but it felt as though i achieved very little. My handphone was awfully quiet, i did message some friends but i felt myself acting desperate so i stop. I miss chatting on msn, i miss chatting with my friends and going ''wild'' with them. Somehow i needed attention. I guess i was lonely, i felt lonely, i was desperate for attention from my friends but i do not know how to start a conversation with them, and for some, i know they are going through some tough time, i just didn't know what to say just to start a conversation or to comfort them as i am not good at that.

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As i am sitting here thinking, i think we have to make a habit of saying ''i love you'' more. One of my friend did said this to me, which is true, people nowadays tend to not say i love you to each other anymore even to their parents, they only use i love you as an expression for their lover, couple etc. Why did i suddenly bring this up? Maybe its because i can't stand the fact where people take this 3 words as something only to be said to their special someone. When we say it to our normal friends, some would be so shocked and some will start teasing. Have you felt like saying the 3 words out just to your friend when there is nothing else to say but that but you're also afraid on how they would react? I do, plenty of times where i just felt like screaming it out, just felt like telling them i am here for you, i love you, you are not alone. I just feel like showing love for a brother and sister who is in need of, i am sure everyone longs to hear someone saying i love you to them because it just brings the warmth back to the heart. It does for me.

Having to realised that someone i hold close to my heart is going to move to another country, eventhough its down south, not that far from where we originally are but still its not the same as having him here with us, among us. This special someone whom i admire so much( your determination), whom had taught me so much since the day i knew him( your strenght to go on) and someone whom i looked up to( your passion, your fire for God). He's someone whom i have come to care for and learned to love dearly even though i never knew how to express my care most of the time, i would just feel for his cries and struggles. The fellowship, the laughters we shared, the fun we had together, it ( christmas musical, youth camp,..) will be something which i treasure and will not trade anything for it. I love you!!! and will miss you so so dearly.

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To many, I might not be an expressive person. To some, I am quiet, while to others I am noisy. I don't express myself well because i am afraid. Afraid of what you ask, well i guess i am afraid of alot of things. I am afraid of making mistakes, afraid of being humiliated, afraid of being looked down, afraid of failure. But that is something i must learn, i have to learn to not be afraid to learn. I have been told alot of times to not be afraid of making mistakes, as failure is the mother of sucess but it is not easy. I guess you can say i have a big ego.
One close friend said this to me : ''Carmille, you portray yourself from the outside as a strong, tough girl which i am sure can stand on your own 2 feet but inside, you're just a girl who wants to be loved but you are also cautious on who you allow to get close to you.'' Boom! ok that struck me from a different angle.

These few words after been told about it, it keep popping up in my head '' I should not be a loner'', '' Its ok to have friends''. I am quite a loner and quiet person actually. Most of my close friends don't believe that when i tell them because my close friends usually see me bubbly and always laughing. But did you noticed I usually join in other people conversations than starting one myself, otherwise i'll just listen to others talk. "Its ok to have friends" yes i have friends but do i allow them to get close to me? I treasure my friendship alot. I don't just tell someone about my problems, my struggles. for me, true friendship must be earned and it takes a long time to mold and bond to be a strong friendship but i don't believe that all strong friendship last forever. I can't believe i am saying this. I believe and i want a friendship which will last forever where we will always be in contact, keeping in track with each other's life but somehow it seems far and hard to achieve. I guess its because of the 'hurts' i've been through with some of my closest friends. Somehow as time goes by, we tend to move on and have our new 'sets' of best friends. That is when our old best friends are forgotten. I still treasure the time I had with my best friends, i enjoyed every moment of it. But when we do have the time to met up and talk or even through msn or sms, it just seems as though we're of 2 different world whereby once we used to be inseparable.

I just realised something, i have to admit that i don't recover from hurts fast, i take a long time to heal and the healing process stings. And i guess this is why i don't easily allow someone to get close to me, to avoid being hurt deeply again. I still do long for this love and trust upon someone. I do have my 2 close friends but i though we were closer last time compare to now. And it seems as though history is repeating itself. By the time we are all furthering our studies, we will end up loosing contact of each other, talking less to one another, sharing lesser with one another. Hah, I could guess someone would say,''this is why blog is created, to let us know what is going on in our life.'' Still, its not the same as talking face to face. But yeah there's still the time and place factor.....

Do i think of consequences too much? Maybe i do, which is why i am a loner, i am not proactive because i am afraid. Gosh, i really have to change.

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Wow! I can't believe its 6.40 am. Haha. I decided to stay up till morning because i want to enjoy the night peace being alone writing my entry without worrying about anyone disturbing. I can only write when my parents are asleep or they are not around because i like and i want my privacy. And it is also why i don't update my blog often. Because i take a long time writing one entry and everytime before i can finish an entry, i would be interrupted which can be quite annoying. And no, i did not start writing this entry since 12am. Yes i did mention i take a long time to write an entry but not that long. Anyway this entry took 2 and a half hours plus plus( yes go ahead, get shock on why i take so long writing such a short entry)......xD

Anyway, I just want to give a shout out of THANK YOU to Leon and Wen Cheang for helping to fix my computer. If it wasn't for them, i wouldn't be able to update my blog and i wouldn't have enjoyed our little conversation over msn with a whole lot of other people. Like i said before, i missed you guys and i love you all!!!

Strong yet Vulnerable

2008-04-05T01:03:00.000+08:00

Horses, stallions, wild stallions. They all are a member of the same family. Such beautiful creatures.

They portray strong, energetic, full with spirit yet graceful.

Love running in the wild, being free, exploring the land and finding new adventures. Horses get restless easily and they can’t stand still, which is why they are constantly moving about, galloping. The freshness of freedom in open space they long for.

Capture them and keep them in a confined area, you will have yourself an angry horse.

Horses portray their strong, dominant side, not their weak. As their weak side shows out, they will feel vulnerable.

But this vulnerability is how they can be tamed. And only tamed by the One.

Horses are very sensitive, short tempered and stubborn.But If they are tamed, how much love and loyalty you show them, they will portray back to you.

Spring cleaning

2008-03-11T12:26:00.000+08:00

You wouldn't know how much Junk you have until you actually spring clean ur room.

Well,thanks to my sis who is so eager to get out of my room and get into her own world i meant room jus because she wants to decorate it as she likes.Anyway,like i said thanks to her,i had to clear all my thing from my previous room,to my current room which is much smaller but i'm ok with it.My sis conveniently took out all my books,reference books,story books,collection books from the book shelf in her ''new room'' and expect me to take it away.I have yet to buy a new book shelf so all my books,text books etc are in a mess.Actually my sis room looks more messy then mine..haha..and our living room has also become a victim by dumping our junk there as there weren't enough space.

Luckily i have a week holiday to clear my room and make it neat and tidy.Hopefully it'll stay that way.At least i have my privacy back. =)

*my room,still messy as i haven't bought a new book shelf*

*my sis room.even messier..haha...*

*the living room..so messy.*

This is the process of spring clean.Will update on after spring clean.Lets see whether it turns out neat and tidy. xD

Christmas Musical

2008-03-11T10:50:00.000+08:00

The sky was clear,the moon was bright.It was just the perfect weather.White tree branches placed around the sanctuary with soft white cottons hanging from the ceiling,its the remake of a white christmas.

Guest start to arrive and soon,the sanctuary was packed,even with the air-cons on to the max, we still feel hot and stuffy.The lights dimmed, everybody quiet down,the sanctuary went pitch black and the soft piano sound playing the introduction of ''Away in a manger'' broke the silence,followed by choirs singing.Everything went well even with a few hiccups and technical problems.We're not profesional singers or actors but i think we done a fairly good job.And eventhough there were only four souls saved that night,four souls are something not to be taken lightly of.

Here are some pictures of that night.but sadly i do not have the pic of our producer/director/ketua Leon Lim.Don't worry, i'll get his picture soon.

* ''Intentively'' listening to instructions*

*me and belle(main actress)*

*Charity and Charmaine*

*Group pic of the girls*

*Food!!!There's always food.*

*Some were eating*

*Some were chit-chatting*

*Back into the sanctuary awaiting for The moment.*

*Our ''sound'' people doing the last check*

*Alas, a glimps of peace and quiet before it all starts*

its March already

2008-03-10T16:33:00.000+08:00

Time flies.

Its already 2008 and i did not blog during the holidays like i said i would.One of the reason : i don't sit infront of the comp 24/7.okok, blogging doesn't take that long but its hard for me.(still trying though)but this year Busy busy busy.Busy about what? SPM.with my parents high expectations and i too want to score well, have to sacrifice certain things.Like sitting infront of computer.Computer(eventhough i don't play computer games) is already a big distraction, there's still tv programs, sms-ing and staring into blank space aka stoning.Anyway like i said previously, the after ''surgery'' pics and our Christmas musical!!!

Let me just start or should i say continue with my after the froggy surgery event which is partey!!!well our substitute teacher both chemistry and biology was going to leave us.anyway the memory of the party isn't fresh anymore so i'll put up the pics with some caption to give you a picture of how the party went. =D

Lets start with the food!!!everybody loves food.haha..

*O.o....Look at all the JUNK food*

*Look at how the guys drool, stare at the food..xD..haha*

*They had to do a pyramid just to look at the food..ish*

*Lots and lots of cup*

*close up on what is written on the cake "Thanks For The Memories"*

*Our teacher giving his ''last'' speech.I have no idea what Arif is doing*

*Having a hard time cutting the cake.its actually a chocolate brownie.very hard(keras) but rich with chocolate..Mmm..delicious*

*The girls pouring drinks with me stealing a glance at the camera..xD*

Ok, those are the boring parts of our little party at school.Here's what our class is capable of..haha..and it is also what i love about my class.Enjoy. =D

*our guys drink with style*

*They were suppose to act cute but FAILED*

*Then they tried to act cool..still failed*

*They too were supposed to act cute but Eu Tjin had to spoil it all..xD*

*I have no idea what are these girls doing*

*Mind you,they are perfectly normal guys*

*Err..things were getting a little out of hand so we had to lock him up..xD*

Some casual pics during the party =)

*We look sweet don't we..xD..(perasan)..haha*

*Let me introduce Lai and Lai*

*I have no idea what are the guys trying to do.*

*These are the four smartest/hardworking girls in our class*

*Me and phaik wei posing with teacher*

*me struggling to get into the picture..xD*

*Chi xian, me, phaik wei and lai...ignore the background spoiler*

*Me with my usual big smilez(perasan)..xD and of course the pretty girl beside me is phaik wei*

*Alas..everybody say KAWAII!!!*

As for the musical pics, i'll have to upload it the next time i update my blog.Hope you enjoyed the pics.

what i promised

2007-11-20T12:57:00.000+08:00

ok..so here's the OLD pics that i promised to post.One of the days in July which we got to disect a frog and partey!!!..hehe...enjoy *winks*

*Posing and ''pining'' up our frog*

*Posing b4 surgery..''we did a good job eh stretching out its legs..xD...haha*

*Here we go..cut cut cut cut cut*

*viola!!!our naked frog..cool eh..xD..hahaha*

*Our teacher came and explain explain explain with us ''oohh-ing'' and ''ahh-ing''*

*Another group photo after surgery..main attraction me..eh i meant the exposed frog..xD*

*And guess what did we do to the frog after that?..okla not we its just me, phaik wei and kai ling..we ''emptied'' the frog...muahahaha*

Here's just the first part of the day..the after ''surgery'' photo will b posted soon

its been quite awhile

2007-11-17T12:21:00.000+08:00

I was right..i couldn't keep it up to updating my blog..haha..typical me..haha..but now is school holiday so got more time..i hope..haha..

So what happened from july till now?...LOTS....where to start leh..hmm..

Ok exam 1st...my finals was ok i guess..haven't tell my parents yet about my results...they did not ask so no need tell lo..xD..my add maths was disappointing,chem..stupid mistakes pull me down,physics..haih,my malay,moral,mod.maths, sejarah improved*smiles*..but then english and bio paper teacher ponteng on last day of school so couldn't get back my results..*sob*..I was looking forward to my english results...

Last day of school(for me) was on the 5th of nov.That day, there was this group of japanese students that came.When the japanese students first arrive, the boys was like so jakun.Ok i admit i too was a little jakun at first,come on many of you would be too right if there were students from other country coming to YOUR school out of the few hundreds school in Selangor or Malaysia.Anyway like i was saying,the girls wore their skirt super short, their top was a button shirt and they unbuttoned a few buttons making it so low cut(guys don't imagine).But i hav to admit, some of them are quite hot.their socks was like pulled till knee lenght.And every picture u take with them, both boys n girls, they'll do the ''peace'' sign or any other sign with is so lala(no offence to those lala-ers out there).There were about 200 plus japanese that came,so each students who took part in the program is assigned to one japanese student and I was assigned to a japanese boy and his name is Takeshi.He's a really fair guy with rossy cheek..cute..haha..it was hard for me to communicate in japanese as i don't quite understand japanese,so we communicated using broken english and sign language(cacat-ed sign language).I showed him around(school) and chat with him lo.Wasn't really fun but it was a good experience.Did i mention he was polite..haha..before the japanese students left, they gave each of us a souvenier.I felt so 'pai seh' coz' i didn't prepare anything for them/him..ish...so they left and everything goes back to normal.

During the holidays what did i do leh..well i went to the club alot, improving my badminton skills and swim.go there with my bro's..''bro's''..its not that i don't want to ask girls go but most girls are not as active as me*ceh perasan giler*..hahaha..i got the big ego thing from one of my bro*i'm blaming it all on you now*muahahaha*..haha..anyway it was fun la going to the club............

I think i'll stop here for now coz' have to go out for lunch soon.Will tell you more about our church christmas musical and for the pictures i said i will post,continue waiting la..muahaha..no la, i'll try to post asap k?..

signing out- cherry

2007-07-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

well..here i am a new baby blogger..who don't even kno whether i'll keep this up to date or not since i prefere talking bout my day than typing it out..but i'll give it a try.

jus 2 start my new blog, today scho was fun!!!super relax..we get to disect froggy(i kno most of u would say: u call that fun?!?u sicko!..or something lik tat)..but since i love biology so why not enjoy d opportunity tat i'm able 2 disect something(with almost ''proper'' tools) at this age...den we had a farewell partie 4 our beloved substitude teachers..we had a great time posing in front of d cameras..hahaha...FYI,quite a number of ppl brought cameras...for d pics on today event, i'll post it asap.after i get it from my frens..xD..

let me talk a little more about my tomorrow, saturday n sunday plans....

tomorrow is Hari Terbuka which also means Report Card Day..my mom purposely took a day off jus to hear wat teacher will say about me n my results..my results has gone down d drain.but thank God i din fail..so she say these results are not acceptable..haih..i was quite hurt after hearing tat line..anyway,i've to brush up on my studies.but now got new problem arise. an unspoken problem.....*Lord!I really need Your strength!!!*

saturday pulak is Subang Rally day.will be out from 8am till 11pm.8 -4 will b at summit, attending d Rally conference.den got 2 rush back 2 kk by 5pm for my band practice.den got Youth at 7.30-10.3opm....will definately b3 exhausted after everything is done.

Sunday!!! sabbath day..have to wake up latest by 6am...joining the shoe string run.which is a charity run of 7km...tats y now i'm taking up d habit of jogging every evenings.at least 45 mins...i'm also helping out at d stall..so d event would most probably last until noon..den go home rest 4 awhile, den got2 get ready 4 church..i'm teaching k4(Kota Kemuning Kingdom Kids)..so got2 go early a bit,latest by 4.30pm..church will finish around 7pm..not counting d time chatting n fellowshipping with frenz..xD...so there u go, another exhausting day...n guess wat, d next day is already a scho day..how ''wonderful''...

there u go..a little about me n my weekend lifestyle.. d=') ...

God Bless You
to those who read this..