Interesting fact by Dr. Kevin Leman

Our birth orders in our family consequently impact our attitudes.

This is an interesting article that I read not too long ago that want to share with you readers coz' i found it quite true to me. Enjoy reading. =)

First Born

Positive traits: natural leaders; are competent; display responsible behaviour; comfortable socialising with adults from an early age; high achievers; frequently live with a sense of entitlement and even superiority; strive to protect and help others;tendency towards conformity

Negative traits: demonstrate perfectionist qualities by putting pressure on themselves to succeed; often moody; occasionally lack sensitivity; intimidating, particularly in pushing people too hard or refusing to take no for an answer; known to be authoritarian or bossy

Needs: Authority approval

Suggestion: First born children have to know that it is okay for them to fail sometimes. They need to be aware that it is okay that they are not the best all of the time so long as they have tried their very best and that their significant authority figures (parents/teachers) would still love them

Second Child / Middle Child

Positive traits: independent and competitive with the oldest sibling, especially in small families; tendency to develop their own persona away from the family to
develop abilities not found in the elder siblings; may tend to be a people-pleaser and usually hate confrontations; very calm, down-to-earth; can adapt to changes and acquire very good social skills; great listeners; good mediators and negotiators

Negative traits: may feel uncertain of self and own abilities if the elder child is successful, feel "squeezed" when a younger child is born; seldom getting parents undivided attention, may lean towards rebellions; difficulty in setting boundaries; not good at making decisions that would offend others; tend to blame themselves when others fail

Needs: Sense of belonging

Suggestion: Try to include second born children in all activities. They are likely to be motivated by a cause and enjoy working with people because that would give them a sense of belonging.

Youngest Child

Positive traits: creative, unconventional; charming and adaptable; strong people skills; love to entertain and talk to others; make friends easily; an extrovert; energized by the presence of other people; display the highest developed levels of emotional intelligence; not afraid to take risks; may behave like only child

Negative traits: cannot accept to be “dethroned”, used to always getting their way, tend to get bored quickly; strong fear of rejections; short attention span; self-centred; tend to have unrealistic expectations, expect others to do things, make decisions, and take responsibility;
feeling disadvantaged in being the smallest and weakest, develop feelings of inferiority or become "speeder" to catch up with older siblings

Needs: Need attention for their efforts

Suggestion: Last born children may have babyish qualities, such as excessive tattling, crying, or whining. It is important that you must not get annoyed with these habits but give them some extra tasks to make them feel helpful and allow them to become more mature. They will often do anything to be noticed, so ensure you appreciate their efforts.


Only Child

Positive traits: always the centre of attention, they often enjoy this position as it makes them feel special; can be very matured intellectually; task-oriented; extremely well-organized; highly conscientious; dependable; feels extremely comfortable with responsibility

Negative traits: feel unfairly treated when not getting their own way; may refuse to cooperate; can be selfcentred; tough to handle; may play "divide and conquer" to get own way; missing out on the social skills learned through sibling interaction, may find it difficult to share or
compromise; can be very demanding; hate to admit they are wrong; do not accept criticisms well

Needs: Recognition

Suggestion: It is necessary for the only child to be aware that you know how hard he/she is trying and how hard he/ she is doing. This reassures the child that he/she is living up to your standards and boosts his/her overall confidence.


Interesting? Let me know your feedback =)

Confession of a child's heart

These statements apply to me...and maybe some of you out there:

I want my family support no matter what I am going through.

I wish I can confide in my parents in every issues and problems I face in life.

Sadly this is not true. Why do I say so...

Well, firstly its through the 19 years living with my parents that I know how they will react to certain topics or things that I mentioned.

I will always use my relationship for example. Coz up till now, I don't know how to approach you to tell you about my relationship. From my past experience of you lecturing me and giving negative replies about me in a relationship, I don't know how to talk to you about it. For goodness sake, I'm turning 20 in one day time...when I don't tell you about my relationship and you found it out from others, you blame me for hiding it from you and start bringing everything up to me. E.g: Studies, past..

I know studies is important and I do realise that my degree cost a big sum and burden to the family finance but I am not stupid enough to get a relationship and throw my degree away. So by threatening me to stop studying and go out to work and just get married is quite discouraging and saddening and heart breaking for a child to hear from their own parents. If you're going to talk to me like that everytime(which you do for what I've observed) You will notice I have stop or seldom talk to you or tell you things.

Who is to blame then? Me for not being a responsible child for not informing things to you? You personally said this to me ''Don't you think its your responsibility to talk to us and tell us things?'' Yes it is my responsibility to inform you and tell you but don't you think you too have to talk to us in a nicer tone? and way? Certain things you say will put us off. Being angry will make me turn away coz I am afraid I admit, I am afraid of you when you get angry coz' you are my parents and you have the say to kick me out of the family if i cross the line. I respect you but i yearn for the courage and freedom to talk to you and share with you.

I hate it when I tell you things and you react, which causes both parties to not be happy.

You always ask me to analyze and think critically. I am trying to. I really am but my brain don't think like you do, I'm still young and learning and growing. Everybody is different. yes you've gone through alot and you definately know more than me which is why you advice me not to do this or that. But don't restrict me coz i'll dislike it more. Walk through things with me, this is what I am asking for.

You told me to start a blog, start reading, cultivate these habits. I don't mind telling you about my blog. I don't mind at all but I dislike the fact that you will question things about what I write. YES I KNOW that in life people will question you ,and i must learn to answer those questions...you tell me this all the time, but this is MY blog and this is how and what I express on. How would you react by reading this post? Honestly I don't know.

How am I to tell you things when you react by restricting me before I can further explain myself

Sometimes parents just need to learn to listen and put their ego aside. I too have my own ego, I too am sensitive which is why I cry. When Things are not resolved between parents and daughter, I'll turn to my partner. You give me love which i appreciate, he gives me a different kind of love and support. thus when I can't talk to you, I turn to him..when you are demanding i keep quiet coz answering your questions will bring more questions..Don't make me build thicker walls coz I hate to do so.

I want to prove to you that I want this degree for myself and my future, not to make you happy. I know you're keeping quiet now to see how I score for my first semester. But I am not perfect. If i dont do WELL, the whole cycle starts again.

Arrgghhh! NOTE TO SELF: STOP PUTTING UNNECESSARY STRESS UNTO SELF!!!!!

exclaimer: don't take it too personally.

Chocolates ~ Ours to keep

I miss eating chocolates with you in lecture halls
I miss feeling special
to be the only one that you shared chocolates with
I miss those times back in College.
Wish we could eat chocolates together again...

I know we will
Oneday

*hearts*

23rd~ours to keep

I will finish strong

Many a times when things don't seem to go our way
We tend to think that we've got it bad
Its the same for me...

When things seem to come crushing down on me
when the pressure is on
I tend to think that I have got it worst..

But I thank God who works in marvelous ways..
A wonder of how a small motivational clip can open up my eyes
reminding me
that He will not throw you something that you can't handle.

In life,
there will always be situations thrown at us
to build us up
to build my character

I will have to try again
and again
and again..

No matter how hard it is
no matter how tough it seems
I will have to finish this race
and
I intend to finish it strong

That is a promise I make to myself

Sometimes I just wish that crying my heart out will make every hurt go away...

will make everything turn out right again...

But it'll never happen that way...

You said I don't have the passion in doing what I want..

You said you don't see that passion...

I'm never good enough...

It would help much if you'd give me more encouragements than criticism....

I've disappointed you with an average A level results...

thus I have to prove myself worthy of being sponsored by you to do my degree...

Reason why I don't tell you that I have a blog is because I don't know how much more criticism you'd have to add for me...

You said if I can't accept criticism and pressure then don't do it...

Do you know how much it sucks to hear that from someone you'd hope to recieve encouragement from??...

I stop talking...

When I know that I can't turn to you anymore...

You say things as if you know...

You assume things as if you know...

Then you go on saying ''Go ahead and tell everyone that I'm the cause of your failure'...

What are you trying to prove?...

Like you said, if I don't show my passion, you'll not sponsor me..

and thus you don't have to...

What the Doc said...

Latest update: Went to see a skin specialist

I've been having this rash like thing surfacing on my skin for quite some months and as usual I don't do anything about it until it starts to go red due to my excessive scratching.*booo*

So anyway, mom saw my rashes and she finally said to bring me to the skin specialist asap,reason coz' she's also been having this skin problem on her right leg since like I-don't-remember-when. So I got news that there's a good skin specialist at ss15( same row as Public Bank) and was adviced to call to make appointment as the queeue can get quite long. I didn't take that advice as I was thinking to myself, if I go early, I wouldn't have to wait long*brilliant*

I was so wrong! =.=''

That Saturday morning, I woke up around 8am-ish~ and our whole family left home about 8.40am! I drove so we reached ss15 and found a parking space about 9.15am. To my uttmost surprise, the clinic was already packed with patients! and the bussiness hour states that its opened from 9am to 4pm on Saturdays. Came 15minutes after opening and it was already packed!?! I asked the nurse how long would we have to wait before its our turn and the nurse said roughly 1hour or so. So okluh, 1 hour will pass by fast when we're doing something. We registered our names and went to Silva to eat breakfast.

About 10am we walked back to the clinic and ask how long more must we wait, nursie said maybe 30mins or so. So ok luh, we went to the nearby Watson to look at some stuff while enjoying the cool air-con. Half an hour later, we went back to the clinic and I specifically asked the nurse again how many patients more before its my turn. Nurse took quite some time to check and counted there were still 11 more patients to go. I was like @#%#$%#^!!!!

I came in at 9.15am, now its already 10.30am and you tell me I still got 11 more patients to go?!!! Ok fine, to kill some time me, sis and dad went to the nearby morning market in ss15 to shop for some groceries and to get myself familiarised to markets and raw food as I am doing the cooking nowadays. Mom didn't follow coz' she said her leg hurts when she walks.

We walked to the market, bear in mind it was the 10.30am morning sun which is HOT! Oh and just for the record, that day(Saturday) temperature was 36C. We walked and I saw that the stuff sold in the market was so much more expensive than the ones which I can get from KK's Pasar Tani or Hypermarket. Some examples: Lemons!Selling at Rm1 to 1.20 per piece in the market, Rm0.69 to 0.89 from hypermarket ; Granny smith apple, Rm10 for 14(ss15), Rm10 for 20(KK Pasar Tani)

However I saw some interesting stuff. I saw a pinkish red banana! They called it pisang Udang, its sweet! Finally saw an actual brussel sprout..hehe..dad said brussel sprouts are expensive coz' cannot get here in M'sia as they require cool weather to grow. Indeed the brussel sprout sold in ss15 was expensive, Rm22 per kg!

Facts on Brussel Sprouts: Has cholesterol lowering compound! High in Vitamin K(good for blood clot); High in anti oxidant; Good for cancer prevention =D

After the market trip, we walked back to the clinic which was about 11.15am. Asked the nurse another time and still got 5 more patients to go. =.='' Was finally called in about 11.45am.

Doc used a big magnifying glass to observe the rashes on my arm and he quickly concluded that I have eczema and continued saying that it could be hereditary. So I was thinking who has it..hmm..anyway Doc gave a 2 type of pills(one for morning, and one for night consume) and 2 type of cream(one for morning and one for night application). Doc asked me not to use Detol or Protex body wash as they're harsh for my skin, instead he asked me to use Dove which is mild on my skin.

Interesting advice given: For those who has eczema, after care of skin is uttmost important. Shower with cold water to soothe the itch and use moisturisers.

Interesting facts that I found out: The best way to trap moiture on skin is to apply the medicated cream and moisturisers within the 3 minutes after bath. Purpose of applying moisturisers is to retain the moisture from a shower onto the skin, so that the skin can stay moist. =D

Total bill for me is Rm115. To me its reasonable coz'
1.Its a specialist
2.Consultation fees is only Rm30
3. four types of medication for Rm85 which I can see the results within first application.

So yeah, Like I said, I could see my skin healing within the first application. I'm uber happy bout it =D The next appointment I have to make it to see Dr. G!..hehe

Lotsa Love and cheers! <3

Dorment NOT anymore!

My darling bloggie!

I've missed you!!!..hehehe...

Yesh yes I do realise I've been dorment for like 3 full months (July, August, September). Why? Its because I didn't have the mood to update my blog eventhough alot of events had happened. Why no mood? Its coz' of the little mood spoiler that happened one week after my A levels exam which I did blog about just a few post below.

Anyway I suddenly thought of blogging again is because of my dad. Yes, he does has a good amount of influence on me, influence to either totally spoil my mood or to push me to think and do something. You see, my dad found out that lil' sista has a blog and sis got all upset bout' it coz' to her, a blog is meant to be something private and kinda of a ''no parents are allowed'' area. Dad was happy and glad to have found her blog and was talking bout' it. And of course dad did encourage me to start a blog, start writing about my interested course and about my new found hobby ecetera. Then he goes on saying ' A blog is for people to read and see, if you don't want others to read your blog means you have something to hide."

So I was thinking to myself, should I start a new blog writing all about my hobby and interest and keep this blog with my real expressed feelings in the shadows? I came to a conclusion of a NO, I will not start a new blog, I will continue on with this current blog. This is my blog and this is where I express my discomfort, my dislike, my anger and my happiness. Everyone is free to read it and leave a comment but don't come judging me if you don't like the way I express or write about you or who-so-ever. Period. I have nothing to hide. Thats what I can say. I will reveal my blog to those who I want to when I think its the right time. As for now, If my parents or whoever relatives read my blog by accident then so be it.

So what happened during these 3 months...hmm...

July..
July went by not so pleasantly. As what I can remember there was tension going around between me and my parents regarding my degree course and my relationship and me finding a job. At the end, I got a teaching job at Xiao Dou Dou which pays quite well.

August..
I volunteered at Touch and Grow Community Support(TGCS) teaching special children for 2 months (August and September). I really enjoyed teaching those children, they are very special indeed.
Our Youth, Sword Squad had Pyjamas Night this month and Kean Lee joined us! I was of course happy that he could join us and that he can get to know our crazy youths..xD

September...
Went to Popular bookfest and bought a few books to read. One of which is a book regarding nutrition, quite interesting I must say. I'll write more on those in a new entry. Dad bought me a baking book and I've manage to try out quite a number of recipes and still counting =D. Will definately blog on those in a new entry =D

Those are just the summary of what had happened during the past 3 months..hehe...and the most important update is that I changed my hair style! =D

Ta-da!