'Scattered words and empty thoughts seem to pour out from my heart, I've never felt so torn before, it seems that I don't even know where to start.' - I still believe - Jeremy Camp
I read this in sunshinejo's blog, and i took it as that is some sort of how i am. But my version is :
' Chatters and laughters are coming out of my mouth, yet it seems random....I've never felt so confuse before. Confuse about what, you ask...well, that i too am trying to find out. I asked myself over and over why am i behaving like this but my mind seems to go blank. I don't know where to start'
I never know where to start or how to express myself, maybe that is why i did not update my blog, maybe that is why i avoid talking to some people, to avoid expressing or should i say being asked what i don't even know. Like my title in my previous entry " Avoiding", I've been avoiding alot of things. I've been avoiding spending time with God, its not that i don't want to, I still do pray..... but sometimes I don't know how to talk to Him, I don't even know what i'm going through, and this is where my bad habits comes in, I'll bury myself with work, with school stuff, tire myself out, stress myself out over certain things and get worried over things just to get myself occupied. Or when i have the time, i'll just sleep so i don't have to think of anything, Or i'll hang out with friends.......i just don't know why am i feeling, behaving like this???
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1 comment:
Well, I'm sure you know that you are not alone in this. But i'll remind you that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. As my blog describes, I am equally troubled. I was looking for a word to describe what I was feeling, but found no sort of word that could bring comfort at such a "depressing" moment. But yes it's true, I am also confused. That's the word. We all get confused with what to do or whats going on with our lives. We often take the fast lane instead of slowing our pace. Sure, everything seems to be passing by so fast, and we try to keep up but in the process , lose the sense of living. To me that's how it happened. I took God for granted, time and time again He gave me a chance to come back to Him but still I was ignorant to His words.
I let God pass me by too many times to count. But always remember He is always waiting for you with open arms. Like you, I've lost touch with God. But I remembered that God doesn't have to be 1st on the list because He's in everything we do.
I have no excellent advice to offer. I'm not one that is great with words. I'm just very much like you and I only want more of God in my life. All I'm trying to do now is take baby steps, not big ones. But always always remember you are not the only one that feels this way eventhough it feels like you are alone. :D
P.S Finally someone who reads my blog!
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