Confuse

'Scattered words and empty thoughts seem to pour out from my heart, I've never felt so torn before, it seems that I don't even know where to start.' - I still believe - Jeremy Camp

I read this in sunshinejo's blog, and i took it as that is some sort of how i am. But my version is :

' Chatters and laughters are coming out of my mouth, yet it seems random....I've never felt so confuse before. Confuse about what, you ask...well, that i too am trying to find out. I asked myself over and over why am i behaving like this but my mind seems to go blank. I don't know where to start'

I never know where to start or how to express myself, maybe that is why i did not update my blog, maybe that is why i avoid talking to some people, to avoid expressing or should i say being asked what i don't even know. Like my title in my previous entry " Avoiding", I've been avoiding alot of things. I've been avoiding spending time with God, its not that i don't want to, I still do pray..... but sometimes I don't know how to talk to Him, I don't even know what i'm going through, and this is where my bad habits comes in, I'll bury myself with work, with school stuff, tire myself out, stress myself out over certain things and get worried over things just to get myself occupied. Or when i have the time, i'll just sleep so i don't have to think of anything, Or i'll hang out with friends.......i just don't know why am i feeling, behaving like this???

Avoiding

Hey people,

I guess I've been MIA (missing in action) again. Or maybe not again for some of you. Bad habit stirring up as I've been avoiding certain things because I don't want to face certain things. Yeah I do that often, avoid...avoid.....avoid........................

Anyway, back to my life. My life doesn't really sux. I feel blessed in alot of ways yet i feel i don't deserve it. Its my own attitude that made it miserable. Typical me and my attitude. I'm not a goody good girl. Deep down in there, there's a monster..hahaha...I'm sure alot of you agree with that..haha......okla, confession time...i love to party and i mean Par-ty!...I know its not adviceble..wait, its a no no actually but......yea i know, i'm in danger, ahh bad bad bad girl.........ok, i don't know what to say...haha...

Non sense update for now...haha..but will try to update something more cheerful? happening?

Ciaozz

this sux

Life has been awfully quiet here........not the quiet that i like.........maybe this quietness is what i brought to myself. Its so easy getting rid of people but it takes effort being nice and to care for others............


So manythings have happened. Old and New hurts, sadness, anger everything unplesant arise............




Love can change a person for the better or the worst.........................



I've come to not wanting to care about anything but i can't, its just not me.......so i'll just care a little less about everything...................





I've been hurt so deeply by you. I want to forgive and let it pass and continue with life but it seems that everytime i see you i'll have this anger, hate (maybe)................




I hate growing up. How i wish i could just erase everything and start life all over again. Maybe not all over again but i just wish i could stop growing and remain in my innocent years where i don't have to care about anything, don't have to think so much, don't have to..............



Hating this attitude of mine!!!! GOD HELP ME!!! :'(




letting emotions take over.........is this what you call emotional?......... more of stupidity..........yeah i am.......



Burying myself with work seem like a good option now.........