I wanted to share a song with you guys. If you can't watch the video throught the link, do go to youtube or Godtube to listen. Just type in Third Day - Mountain of God. The lyrics of this song relates, speak, encourage me.
Mountain of God - Third Day
Lyrics
Thought that I was all alone, broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
And I didn't even know that I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
Till You opened my eyes, I'd never knew
That I could'nt ever make it without You
Even though the journey long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through, now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God
As I travel on the road that You have lead me on
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found that You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I confess from time to time, I lose my way
But You are always there to bring me back again
Sometimes, I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare with what's in front of me
With what's in front of me
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Take a Break ;)
Have you ever had the feeling of the light bulb image in your head lights up, and you are 100% sure of the answer to the question? well, I just experienced it. To the SPM students, no this has nothing to do with any soalan ramalan. Its just a question my friend asked me. I'm those type who always fail to answer IQ questions or questions similar to it. I always cannot get the answer, even if I did get it right, its like a lucky guess which I'm not sure of. So pardon my excitement of blogging this....haha..
Anyway, the question was :
What living thing will bleed your blood when you kill it.
My first reaction was, 'oh no, not these type of question again.' Then this friend of mine insisted me to try and guess. So the next question pop up ' Is this another trick question?' 'No' he said.
Ok, so first try, wrong. Second try, also wrong. Then he said 'come on, very easy wan' Then, it literally was like ''Ting!" I knew what was the answer and was sure of it. haha..never felt that in a long time which is why now super jakun. haha.. So readers, what is your answer to that question?
Anyway, the question was :
What living thing will bleed your blood when you kill it.
My first reaction was, 'oh no, not these type of question again.' Then this friend of mine insisted me to try and guess. So the next question pop up ' Is this another trick question?' 'No' he said.
Ok, so first try, wrong. Second try, also wrong. Then he said 'come on, very easy wan' Then, it literally was like ''Ting!" I knew what was the answer and was sure of it. haha..never felt that in a long time which is why now super jakun. haha.. So readers, what is your answer to that question?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Love our parents
Some one shared this e-mail with me and i thought of sharing it with you readers out there.
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"
The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"
This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.
When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
The moral of the story: If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today". Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.
I guess many of us are guilty of this including me. I tend to get irritated fast at times which is why i felt convicted to share this with you all out there as a reminder to both me and you that our parents did infact brought us up with love and patience. I don't know bout' you guys but I definately feel blessed to be born into my 'oh so wonderful family'..hehe
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, "What is this?" The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"
The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. "It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the Father again asked his Son t he 4th time, "What is this?"
This time the Son shouted at his Father, "Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.
When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this", the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
The moral of the story: If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents. From today say this aloud, "I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today". Say a prayer to God, "I will serve my old parents in the BEST way. I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.
**********************************************
I guess many of us are guilty of this including me. I tend to get irritated fast at times which is why i felt convicted to share this with you all out there as a reminder to both me and you that our parents did infact brought us up with love and patience. I don't know bout' you guys but I definately feel blessed to be born into my 'oh so wonderful family'..hehe
weeeee!!!
I'm getting my own laptop!!! *screams of excitement* can you feel the excitement for me too...hahaha.
I'm getting this laptop from my good ol' friend at a good deal. I never expect my parents to actually agree in buying me the laptop or anytime soon especially SPM is like 2 weeks away! So to me, its like a pre-SPM result present, pre- christmas present, pre- birthday present from both my parents and my good ol' friend. I don't know what did I do to deserve this. Well, i guess I'd better work harder to get a good and better result for my SPM. Its worth it though =)
I'm getting this laptop from my good ol' friend at a good deal. I never expect my parents to actually agree in buying me the laptop or anytime soon especially SPM is like 2 weeks away! So to me, its like a pre-SPM result present, pre- christmas present, pre- birthday present from both my parents and my good ol' friend. I don't know what did I do to deserve this. Well, i guess I'd better work harder to get a good and better result for my SPM. Its worth it though =)
Friday, October 24, 2008
more on friends
Like what Sarah commented, one would trust their best friend to share everything with them. To those who have these kind of best friend, i envy them. To have friends like that doesn't seem impossible but to me it somehow does.
Often, we're too busy with our own life, with our own things to go out and catch up with our friends. even most is just the usual 'hi, how are you lately?', ' i'm fine thank you', 'ok, glad to hear that' or another version, 'hi, how are you?, 'i'm not fine thank you', 'why? whats bothering you?', 'nah, its nothing'. and the conversation usually ends there. why? coz' when others don't want to open up, we can't force them to. in other words, 'ok, since he/she doesn't want to talk, then might as well leave her alone'.
i'm blank now........i tend to post what i feel and what i'm able to capture in my mind. the longer i think of what to write, i'll go blank, like now. Do you think i'm rash to do this?...anyway, will see what i can add to this entry post in coming time. Do comment if you have any. =)
Often, we're too busy with our own life, with our own things to go out and catch up with our friends. even most is just the usual 'hi, how are you lately?', ' i'm fine thank you', 'ok, glad to hear that' or another version, 'hi, how are you?, 'i'm not fine thank you', 'why? whats bothering you?', 'nah, its nothing'. and the conversation usually ends there. why? coz' when others don't want to open up, we can't force them to. in other words, 'ok, since he/she doesn't want to talk, then might as well leave her alone'.
i'm blank now........i tend to post what i feel and what i'm able to capture in my mind. the longer i think of what to write, i'll go blank, like now. Do you think i'm rash to do this?...anyway, will see what i can add to this entry post in coming time. Do comment if you have any. =)
Don't start
you know what i'm good at? i'm good at making stupid mistakes. especially small stupid little mistakes that shouldn't be made. In my exam, in my daily life. with my 'couldn't be bothered' attitude, it serves me right i guessss. what the heck, if i can't even handle, avoid these small things how can people trust me? to see their disappointed face........how can i.....useless...idiotic......ugh!..... often, i'm not angry at others but myself.........messing up my life.......................
Don't bother commenting.............
Don't bother commenting.............
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friends, Best Friends
Friends.....this word seems so unreal to me, I don't know how to put the right word into what i think about it. Everybody have their own set of friends, I too have friends whom I talk to at times but the odds seems to be heavier on the ''loner'' side. Some of you might say, 'You a loner?' well yeah, believe me, I'm an introvert who is picky with my friends or who I want to talk with.
Lets move on, friends, you can call anyone your friend but what about best friends?closest friend? I'm a person who take friendship as something which is not to play with,I'm sure you readers out there too treasure your friendships. To me, calling a friend my best friend,thats something which must be earned, and to be crushed by your best friend, well I'm not going deeper into that part. Back to what I was saying, its not like just because you have alot in common with that person and you get along well thats why he/she is your best friend. You get along well doesn't mean that person is trustable. Somehow I find it hard to trust people nowadays, I find it hard to trust anyone.
Usually when you're troubled, you seek your best/close friends to talk to right, as they are the person you trust the most. I observe, I listen. People around me whom i know, to see them act, react, respond, and see them having problems of their own, I just can't seem to talk.......Ok, maybe part of it is just me and my attitude problem.Part of it is the trust but part of it is also that I don't want to burden people with anymore thoughts and problems which are not theirs, which is why I can't talk.
Ok, back to my original question, I'm just curious, how do you consider one your best friend/close friend? Let me put it this way, when some one ask you who is your best friend, and you reply ''_____'', why or what made you say him/her as your best friend?
I'm just hoping that you readers can give me some feedback on what do you think. Thanks
Lets move on, friends, you can call anyone your friend but what about best friends?closest friend? I'm a person who take friendship as something which is not to play with,I'm sure you readers out there too treasure your friendships. To me, calling a friend my best friend,thats something which must be earned, and to be crushed by your best friend, well I'm not going deeper into that part. Back to what I was saying, its not like just because you have alot in common with that person and you get along well thats why he/she is your best friend. You get along well doesn't mean that person is trustable. Somehow I find it hard to trust people nowadays, I find it hard to trust anyone.
Usually when you're troubled, you seek your best/close friends to talk to right, as they are the person you trust the most. I observe, I listen. People around me whom i know, to see them act, react, respond, and see them having problems of their own, I just can't seem to talk.......Ok, maybe part of it is just me and my attitude problem.Part of it is the trust but part of it is also that I don't want to burden people with anymore thoughts and problems which are not theirs, which is why I can't talk.
Ok, back to my original question, I'm just curious, how do you consider one your best friend/close friend? Let me put it this way, when some one ask you who is your best friend, and you reply ''_____'', why or what made you say him/her as your best friend?
I'm just hoping that you readers can give me some feedback on what do you think. Thanks
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Ramble ramble
I think I’ve been missing for quite some time now. Trials is finally over which could only mean SPM is getting nearer! Well then, now trials is over what can I blog about?..hmm..i’ll jus ramble around then.
I enjoyed working out / stressing up my body the day after trials ended. Didn’t felt that satisfactory of the aching of my body for such a long time. Note: No, I don’t enjoy hurting myself. I just enjoy exercising. Anyway, on Saturday morning, went jogging at the normal route and then straight away go for badminton at the club for 2 hours. Syok I tell you. After that, went for steam bath. Relax relax hehe . Met some old primary school mate, joined them for sauna but immediately regretted. Coz’ I felt so out of place. The things they talk about…awkward. You see, among the primary school mate i’m with, I was the only one studying in Subang where as they all are in Kota Kemuning school. So, they were like talking about their soon to come prom night and who asked who out etc. I was like ‘ok, this is weirdly boring/ childish.’ Mayb coz’ I wasn’t part of it….xD…Luckily my sis came to the rescue. haha Anyway, dad fetch us home and gosh, my body was so exhausted that I fell into a deep sleep but woke up soon after to go Subang Parade.
At Parade, I pulled ( not literally) my dad into the World of Sports, wanted to get a new running shoe as it was sales time and a lot of Mizuno products are on sales. Anyway, I got a new running shoe which cost like RM240 but with 50% off *yay!*. My dad bought 3 Mizuno shirt, sis got a jacket, I got a shirt and a pants all at the 70% off corner. All in all, everything including the shoe, added up to only cost about RM250 which is RM10 more than the original shoe price * big smiles*
* My new Mizuno Wave Aura*
Then we rushed back and quickly rush to BCM ( Bible College Malaysia) as we’re suppose to have our Youth and Adult challenge and later witness a water baptism. Guess what, we lost to the adults this year again, but we were better than last year *smiles* coz we won captain ball ( by one point) out of the frissbee and oestrogen soccer game, which was only the girls can score. It was close coming to a tie though. We will now train soccer! Won’t we girls * winks* haha. Hopefully next year, it won’t end up like our frissbee. Haha. All the training but we still lost to the adults like a lot of points, malu malu.
We had a great fellowship eating dinner together. Forgot to take the pictures of the food though =/ but in a way its good not to have pictures of food too right? Can spare you guys from drooling while reading..hahaha… Soon after, we had praise and worship and a short service before 5 of our dear brother and sisters were baptize in water. *clap clap clap*
*CNS posing after the soccer game*
*Our free mud leg wrap..haha*
* The blue one is my sister's*
* This fiery red one is mine*
Monday, September 15, 2008
Kindness and Love, I will hold on
Was surfing the net, reading blogs, wondering how’s life for others. Then, I came across a friend post, ‘You do me! I do you!’. Seems close to home, so I read on and later came to realize, I’m somewhat like that too. Or should I put it her way of saying ‘justifying my anger’. I don’t know about you guys but I am guilty of being like that, whenever I feel its unfair on my side, I will want to justify it by various ways(obviously not the going to jail type of various ways) and I guess this has cost me a lot.
When she wrote about the church camp message, showing kindness to others, I felt convicted too as it is written :
“Kindness is literally love in action, showing genuine friendship to others by regarding them as important in God’s sight and worthy of dignity and respect. It involves treating others with courtesy, lending encouragement and freely offering yourself or your resources to help a person in need with no strings attached!”
I guess I’m convicted of my own guilt that I ‘choose’ to show kindness at times. How selfish of me, I did learn my lesson in one way or another and I’m sure there are more to learn. Hey, we do stumble right? The most important thing is that we learn from it and I want to change to a better me for the people around me. Only with God’s grace I will be able to do it.
Even though things did not turn out as I thought it would, I will not give up. I will continue to try mending this friendship up. I’ll do it small steps at a time. And I do pray that you will not let it stay and eat you up from the inside like how it did to me but I’ve learned to ‘overcome’ it with the grace of God. And whatever I did wrong previously, I truly am sorry and I forgive you. Continue to ignore me if you want but I will (try) not ignore you.
p.s : If this ever come across your mind, please do know that I’m not trying to get sympathy or what-so-ever from the readers here. Other method doesn’t seem to get respond and I do not know whether it reached you. So I’m openly saying sorry to show that I still treasure this friendship.
Your identity is safe with me, hope that all is well with you and I love you . =)
When she wrote about the church camp message, showing kindness to others, I felt convicted too as it is written :
“Kindness is literally love in action, showing genuine friendship to others by regarding them as important in God’s sight and worthy of dignity and respect. It involves treating others with courtesy, lending encouragement and freely offering yourself or your resources to help a person in need with no strings attached!”
I guess I’m convicted of my own guilt that I ‘choose’ to show kindness at times. How selfish of me, I did learn my lesson in one way or another and I’m sure there are more to learn. Hey, we do stumble right? The most important thing is that we learn from it and I want to change to a better me for the people around me. Only with God’s grace I will be able to do it.
Even though things did not turn out as I thought it would, I will not give up. I will continue to try mending this friendship up. I’ll do it small steps at a time. And I do pray that you will not let it stay and eat you up from the inside like how it did to me but I’ve learned to ‘overcome’ it with the grace of God. And whatever I did wrong previously, I truly am sorry and I forgive you. Continue to ignore me if you want but I will (try) not ignore you.
p.s : If this ever come across your mind, please do know that I’m not trying to get sympathy or what-so-ever from the readers here. Other method doesn’t seem to get respond and I do not know whether it reached you. So I’m openly saying sorry to show that I still treasure this friendship.
Your identity is safe with me, hope that all is well with you and I love you . =)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
I'm sorry ( edited)
When people say girls are rather sensitive or maybe overly sensitive….Can’t help but agree I think I am one of them. Different people have different things they are extra sensitive at. As a matter of fact, I know guys too have they sensitive side. When it comes to something we take it really serious and end up being broken up etc, you can’t expect us to forgive just in one day. Maybe some of you can but I can’t especially when its matters to do with the heart.
I’m not writing this to complain about being sensitive/overly sensitive etc. I’m writing this to this special someone, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done that have hurt you, the way I respond or should I say did not respond. I’m sure both sides have been hurt deeply in different ways and yes, it took me long enough to get over it. And now I realize that I don’t want to lose our friendship, I don’t want to lose a friend as dear as you. Our conversations might not be the same as before but I just hope that you do not ignore me and to say how I regretted that I did somewhat ignore you. I’m sorry. Truly I am sorry…
(edit)..Now, it seems that my dear friend doesn't want to forgive me, what should i do then? Obviously it hurts to know when that someone doesnt want to accept our apologies even when we actually try to apologize. Haih......I really hope that my dear friend would actually try to talk to resolve things,talk it out to settle it and not keeping everything in....................................................................... heart broken................................................................................................................. :'(
I’m not writing this to complain about being sensitive/overly sensitive etc. I’m writing this to this special someone, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done that have hurt you, the way I respond or should I say did not respond. I’m sure both sides have been hurt deeply in different ways and yes, it took me long enough to get over it. And now I realize that I don’t want to lose our friendship, I don’t want to lose a friend as dear as you. Our conversations might not be the same as before but I just hope that you do not ignore me and to say how I regretted that I did somewhat ignore you. I’m sorry. Truly I am sorry…
(edit)..Now, it seems that my dear friend doesn't want to forgive me, what should i do then? Obviously it hurts to know when that someone doesnt want to accept our apologies even when we actually try to apologize. Haih......I really hope that my dear friend would actually try to talk to resolve things,talk it out to settle it and not keeping everything in....................................................................... heart broken................................................................................................................. :'(
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Randomz
Hi people, sad to say but i won't be blogging very frequently anytime soon...its not like i blog frequently also.........anyway yeah trials coming soon, well actually it started. I sat my first paper on the first day which was my Chinese paper. Anyway the main paper will start on Monday.
Why do i push myself to study at times? and end up skipping certain things which used to be very important to me....well i want to try my best to excel in my studies, i mean who doesn't. And before you get the wrong idea, no i'm not ignoring God or putting Him aside because of my exam k..please.... So why i want to excel? well, to try to get a scholarship so that my parents wont' be burdened so much when i want to further my studies like next year. O.o
Anyways, these few days i enjoy playing my piano. I don't mean that i don't enjoy playing but usually i seldom play but these few days i look forward to playing the piano. Maybe i just find it destressing playing the piano, or the beautiful notes and tunes of the piano calms me or when i play i just feel so free and relaxed. Something that i never actually felt before.
Its so cold, its been raining like non stop. Its so cold that i don't have to on the fan and my hair stands from the coldness in the air. Maybe its just me coz' my cold receptors super sensitive. My hands and feets get cold easily or should i say they are always colder than others. Don't know why but yeah. I'm used to hearing people say ''why you so cold wan?'' and I'll reply ''don't know, I'm just cold blooded''..... No la, actually not many people noticed how cold my hands and feet are usually. Anyway, why should they notice.haha..
I'm just doing some random talking. Brain freezing here, I think i'd go get a hot chocolate drink..Mmm...then maybe i'll study for awhile or read.
Stay healthy people! God bless
__xoxoxo__
Why do i push myself to study at times? and end up skipping certain things which used to be very important to me....well i want to try my best to excel in my studies, i mean who doesn't. And before you get the wrong idea, no i'm not ignoring God or putting Him aside because of my exam k..please.... So why i want to excel? well, to try to get a scholarship so that my parents wont' be burdened so much when i want to further my studies like next year. O.o
Anyways, these few days i enjoy playing my piano. I don't mean that i don't enjoy playing but usually i seldom play but these few days i look forward to playing the piano. Maybe i just find it destressing playing the piano, or the beautiful notes and tunes of the piano calms me or when i play i just feel so free and relaxed. Something that i never actually felt before.
Its so cold, its been raining like non stop. Its so cold that i don't have to on the fan and my hair stands from the coldness in the air. Maybe its just me coz' my cold receptors super sensitive. My hands and feets get cold easily or should i say they are always colder than others. Don't know why but yeah. I'm used to hearing people say ''why you so cold wan?'' and I'll reply ''don't know, I'm just cold blooded''..... No la, actually not many people noticed how cold my hands and feet are usually. Anyway, why should they notice.haha..
I'm just doing some random talking. Brain freezing here, I think i'd go get a hot chocolate drink..Mmm...then maybe i'll study for awhile or read.
Stay healthy people! God bless
__xoxoxo__
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
New Member in the Family!!!
As you can read from the title, yes, our family has extended. No, not extended as in my mom got pregnant. Extended as in we got new pets!!!
Anyway, let me just introduce to you all my darlings ;)
First up is Husky. I got him quite a few years back, can't remember how long he's been with my but definately more than 3 years. He's a rhodesien ridgeback mix. The original ridgeback is much bigger size than this current fella here. Ridgeback originate from Afrika ( if i'm not mistaken) as they're used in lion hunting.
* My faithful ol' guard dog *
* He has a beautiful ridgeback *
* Enjoying the wind *
* Awww....*Then, i got my second dog. He was given to me by my aunt from Melaka. After she bought Chester, she only realise that she didn't like long hair dog. So she give it to me. I did not realise until i brought Chester back home to KL that he had skin problem, infected with hair lice, and there was once that his hind leg was infested with maggots. Yes, disgusting sight. How the maggots got there, long story. To cut it short, Chester skin/long hair condition is very sensitive to long exposure of damp/wet. So, i have to keep him as dry as possible. About every 1 month or so, Chester and I will have some grooming time. Anyway, about his skin condition, it was after alot of treatment and lots of love and care that Chester became healthy again.
* Tada! One handsome fella :D*
Third is my fish tank. Actually thanks to a good friend, i got back my passion to re- do my fish tank. Why did i give up on my fish tank in the first place? Well, i got quite fed up that all the fishes i keep buying keep die-ing. But now, my fish tank looks....nice?..xD...all i can say is that i love my fishes.
* At first it looked like this *
* Then, i did some redecorating *
Our forth animal, two cute rats!!!..heheh...okla, they are hamsters. They were also given by a friend, Mr. Warwick..hehe...they're both males ( if i'm not mistaken) so no babies. I had a good experience of having 20 plus hamsters at once so now, 2 hamsters is just nice. Nice to see, not nice to hold, they bite >.<
* I named this Pebbles *
* My sis named this Fluffy *
Fifth, our new member in the family. 2 birds. I don't know what is its exact name so i'll just show you the pic. Its my sister's by the way. The white one is male and the green is a female.
* Winter and Spring *
Wait! I'm not done yet. There are still a long list of animals that is waiting for me to include to my ''collection'' ...hehehe.
At the top of my list is a albino python.
* Isn't it a beauty *
* Close up on it's head *
* My new ( soon to be ) pet *
Second on my waiting list is a sugar glider. Its super cute!!!
* Awww...look at it...*
Third on my waiting list is a tarantula, but i didn't get to hold this though. So i took its pic through its transparent cage.
* Cool leh..hehe *
Note : All the picture above are taken using my trusty phone, Sony Ericsson K610i. I really did hold the python and the sugar glider :D
Friday, August 8, 2008
I'm Back!
Finally!!! I can blog about today!!!
Our whole class was out of school again today. Coz' we went to Taylor College to cheer for our debating team who made it to the finals. I really want to blog about it but i think i'll wait till i get hold of the video of the debate. Stay tune!!!...hehe
* Our dear debaters : Esther, Albert, Shaun, Suhaib *Oh!! and today on the way home, at the junction, i manage to capture the one and only pic from a car accident. Well, this accident is some sort similar to the one Lionel posted about how a car can get into a drain? This time, i manage to take a pic. hehe...so maybe you'll have a slight understanding on why he posted his entry as ''Cluedo???"
* Its quite blurr as i took in inside the car and it was moving plus raining as you can see *
Thursday, August 7, 2008
On Monday, 4th August, our class was 'choosen' to go for a motivational talk out of school. Guess where we went.......
* Familiar???*
* Ahh...but no, we did not go to Summit, we went to the building next to Summit *..........
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* Yes! SEGi College ( and no, i'm not promoting for SEGi college) *
* Look at the (not so ) big and cool entrance * So we went in and was led to the place where they held their talk, it was at the 6th floor. I'm not going to bore you with the content of the talk. Anyway after the talk, we went down to the cafeteria for a short introduction from the American Degree Program( ADP) students before we had our 'light' refreshment which was actually very fulling. We had nasi lemak with choices of curry chicken, sotong sambal, fried egg, sausage, bihun goreng, koay teow goreng, veg, muttons ( you can stop drooling now) as our side dishes. So, after our 'light' refreshment, we went for a little tour around the 'campus' which was only one building space. It was 12 storey high, we planned to start from the top floor and slowly come visiting down to the ground floor. We did start from the highest floor but we couldn't visit every single floor as time does not permit. So we went visiting the library, the labratories and some other floors. After that, we gather back at ground floor and start doing what we do best.....................taking PICS!!!...xD
* Girls scattered everywhere*
* Guys do what they do best, Stoning *
* Soon, they begin to act weird ( as usual..xD )*
* Ok, fine, the girls to acted weird *
* Gosh, i look like a small kid...hahaha...yes my 'new' hair style' *
* Girls group pic!!!*
* Guys group pic!!!*
There you have it, my Monday, spent in SEGi College........
Hey people!
Super sorry for going missing for quite awhile. And i want to thank those who actually came and check my blog for updates..thank you very muchie for your support...xD...hehehe
Anyway what have i been up to lately? Back in July, I've been quite busy with my interact stuff especially the International Understanding Day. Honestly i was quite stressed out and being quite emo most of the time as there was so many things that had to be done and yet not done ( i'm sure you get what i meant). There was so many last minute thing ( as usual right?) and i as a board member had to learn a dance as a presentation. Anyway I.U Day was on the 26th of July. Typical, the night before JJ and I went down to Subang to a friend house in 17 to finish up every last minute thing that we could possibly think of. JJ had a ''curfew'' that he must be home by 10.30 and we left kk at 8.40. And guess what, the others who were suppose to help was on their way too but to AC( Asia Cafe) to eat dinner......Since i too have not had my dinner that time, i didn't want to feel awkward and dumb doing the stuff alone while they're having fun in AC..so we joined them. We left AC about 9.30 plus and start our last minute thing. Anyway, we stayed there doing the last touch up until almost midnight ( yes my mom knows).
Some info on I.U.Day.
Theme : Viva La Italiano
Venue : Summit Auditorium
Below are some pics of after I.U Day. ( I didnt' manage to take any picture before the event as i was quite busy running up and down....)
* Ed- Vinn and me ( dance partner..xD)*
* phaik wei, phaik teng( yes twins), amanda, me, yin shi*
* JJ, PT, Amanda, Lai, Wen Jie, Chen Nam *
* They look so gloomy under that light*
*Guess which is our Interact president and which is our MC of the day.....Left Evan( president), right MC (forgot what's his name)*
* Goofing around*
And there you have it, our crazy bunch of people...xD...if i manage to get hold of the video of my dance, then i might post it up..hehe..
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Confuse
'Scattered words and empty thoughts seem to pour out from my heart, I've never felt so torn before, it seems that I don't even know where to start.' - I still believe - Jeremy Camp
I read this in sunshinejo's blog, and i took it as that is some sort of how i am. But my version is :
' Chatters and laughters are coming out of my mouth, yet it seems random....I've never felt so confuse before. Confuse about what, you ask...well, that i too am trying to find out. I asked myself over and over why am i behaving like this but my mind seems to go blank. I don't know where to start'
I never know where to start or how to express myself, maybe that is why i did not update my blog, maybe that is why i avoid talking to some people, to avoid expressing or should i say being asked what i don't even know. Like my title in my previous entry " Avoiding", I've been avoiding alot of things. I've been avoiding spending time with God, its not that i don't want to, I still do pray..... but sometimes I don't know how to talk to Him, I don't even know what i'm going through, and this is where my bad habits comes in, I'll bury myself with work, with school stuff, tire myself out, stress myself out over certain things and get worried over things just to get myself occupied. Or when i have the time, i'll just sleep so i don't have to think of anything, Or i'll hang out with friends.......i just don't know why am i feeling, behaving like this???
I read this in sunshinejo's blog, and i took it as that is some sort of how i am. But my version is :
' Chatters and laughters are coming out of my mouth, yet it seems random....I've never felt so confuse before. Confuse about what, you ask...well, that i too am trying to find out. I asked myself over and over why am i behaving like this but my mind seems to go blank. I don't know where to start'
I never know where to start or how to express myself, maybe that is why i did not update my blog, maybe that is why i avoid talking to some people, to avoid expressing or should i say being asked what i don't even know. Like my title in my previous entry " Avoiding", I've been avoiding alot of things. I've been avoiding spending time with God, its not that i don't want to, I still do pray..... but sometimes I don't know how to talk to Him, I don't even know what i'm going through, and this is where my bad habits comes in, I'll bury myself with work, with school stuff, tire myself out, stress myself out over certain things and get worried over things just to get myself occupied. Or when i have the time, i'll just sleep so i don't have to think of anything, Or i'll hang out with friends.......i just don't know why am i feeling, behaving like this???
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Avoiding
Hey people,
I guess I've been MIA (missing in action) again. Or maybe not again for some of you. Bad habit stirring up as I've been avoiding certain things because I don't want to face certain things. Yeah I do that often, avoid...avoid.....avoid........................
Anyway, back to my life. My life doesn't really sux. I feel blessed in alot of ways yet i feel i don't deserve it. Its my own attitude that made it miserable. Typical me and my attitude. I'm not a goody good girl. Deep down in there, there's a monster..hahaha...I'm sure alot of you agree with that..haha......okla, confession time...i love to party and i mean Par-ty!...I know its not adviceble..wait, its a no no actually but......yea i know, i'm in danger, ahh bad bad bad girl.........ok, i don't know what to say...haha...
Non sense update for now...haha..but will try to update something more cheerful? happening?
Ciaozz
I guess I've been MIA (missing in action) again. Or maybe not again for some of you. Bad habit stirring up as I've been avoiding certain things because I don't want to face certain things. Yeah I do that often, avoid...avoid.....avoid........................
Anyway, back to my life. My life doesn't really sux. I feel blessed in alot of ways yet i feel i don't deserve it. Its my own attitude that made it miserable. Typical me and my attitude. I'm not a goody good girl. Deep down in there, there's a monster..hahaha...I'm sure alot of you agree with that..haha......okla, confession time...i love to party and i mean Par-ty!...I know its not adviceble..wait, its a no no actually but......yea i know, i'm in danger, ahh bad bad bad girl.........ok, i don't know what to say...haha...
Non sense update for now...haha..but will try to update something more cheerful? happening?
Ciaozz
Thursday, July 10, 2008
this sux
Life has been awfully quiet here........not the quiet that i like.........maybe this quietness is what i brought to myself. Its so easy getting rid of people but it takes effort being nice and to care for others............
So manythings have happened. Old and New hurts, sadness, anger everything unplesant arise............
Love can change a person for the better or the worst.........................
I've come to not wanting to care about anything but i can't, its just not me.......so i'll just care a little less about everything...................
I've been hurt so deeply by you. I want to forgive and let it pass and continue with life but it seems that everytime i see you i'll have this anger, hate (maybe)................
I hate growing up. How i wish i could just erase everything and start life all over again. Maybe not all over again but i just wish i could stop growing and remain in my innocent years where i don't have to care about anything, don't have to think so much, don't have to..............
Hating this attitude of mine!!!! GOD HELP ME!!! :'(
letting emotions take over.........is this what you call emotional?......... more of stupidity..........yeah i am.......
Burying myself with work seem like a good option now.........
So manythings have happened. Old and New hurts, sadness, anger everything unplesant arise............
Love can change a person for the better or the worst.........................
I've come to not wanting to care about anything but i can't, its just not me.......so i'll just care a little less about everything...................
I've been hurt so deeply by you. I want to forgive and let it pass and continue with life but it seems that everytime i see you i'll have this anger, hate (maybe)................
I hate growing up. How i wish i could just erase everything and start life all over again. Maybe not all over again but i just wish i could stop growing and remain in my innocent years where i don't have to care about anything, don't have to think so much, don't have to..............
Hating this attitude of mine!!!! GOD HELP ME!!! :'(
letting emotions take over.........is this what you call emotional?......... more of stupidity..........yeah i am.......
Burying myself with work seem like a good option now.........
Thursday, June 26, 2008
What a week
So, like i mentioned in my previous entry, today was the day that we have the opportunity to raise money for our senior page. Before we can sell anything, we went shopping!!! haha.
*12 of us went shopping. Doubt you can see their faces, they are the circled ones including me! can you spot carmille?haha..Anyway this is our class photo too, 42 of us total =D*
*12 of us went shopping. Doubt you can see their faces, they are the circled ones including me! can you spot carmille?haha..Anyway this is our class photo too, 42 of us total =D**So off we go, walk walk walk, shop shop shop*
*after shopping...Eu-Tjin aka ketua tingkatan, aka kuli (pushing trolley) haha*
* Went food court eat lunch...no idea what Eu- Tjin is doing*
Why the 3 pics only have those 3 people, its coz' the rest of the gang were goofing around, attracting attention somewhere in the building.away from us.haha.
So yeah, we bought our stuff, ate lunch at the food court like hungry pirana's coz' everyone was so hungry. Soon after, some had to leave for tuition where as i went to my friend house, her dad was so kind to fetch us back to her house and we worked together and slice the french loaves and cheese.
Enough about yesterday's shopping spree, today our buchetta was not as ''wanted'' as on Monday. Why? Its not because it tasted horrible (it still taste delicious k.) its because there were like 20 plus stalls which are selling so many other interesting stuff.
*asam laksa * ice-cream *cupcakes *herbal eggs *sausages *spaghetti
*chee cheong fan* *sushi *jumble sales *raw vegetables *lots of different drinks
To actually see students selling raw vegetables, it was literally like a market plus everyone was screaming and promoting their goods. Crazy i tell you. So the whole day i was standing there from 8.30 to 12.30pm, no classes, teacher can't teach as 3/4 of the class was down stairs helping out or should i say kehpo-ing. xD
I won't say this week was a waste of time as i did not actually study much but i had a wonderful time with my classmates eventhough there were moody times as we were stressing out but really Thank God for my friends, for the things they indirectly taught me. Somehow i think it has brought us closer as a family as one class eventhough there were some who were not so ''participative''. All in all, this year is my last year in high school and so many things had happen which are worth remembering.
Oh!!and i noticed something. I'm not being racist here but standing behind the counter selling the buchetta's, i can't help but notice chinese are much much more demanding and picky, they somehow must say '' I don't want that one, i want this one.''. -_-" whereas malays are not so picky and they are ok with whichever buchetta u pick for them. Which is why chinese are so 'kia su'. Agree? hahaha
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Science ''fun'' day out?
Today i went to school feeling tired but i just dismissed the thought of feeling tired and weak coz' i know that the feeling will just go away once class started. Surprisingly i couldn't get rid of the tiredness as i was yawning all the way the whole day and i was kinda moody and after recess, i was having a slight headache. Tired girl becomes and angry girl. haha.. anyway i was being straightforward than usual so my friends were like ''why are you so fierce'', i was like''got meh? its the truth what.'' Some keep asking me''why so emo'' but i just dismissed their questions. All in all, i do feel bad for in a way snapping at some of my friends but then its just me, when i'm moody, i rather not talk. I know i know, bad habit and i have tried my best to snap less at people so its a good start =D.
Anyway, today was also a science day, there were science activities going on in the science lab and badminton court. Some pretty cool experiments and science riddles to be solved. Even with my headache, i had fun messing around with the experiments and i finally found out what my blood group is.haha. I don't know whether that experiment accurate anot la but better than not knowing what blood group i am.
Went back to class late as i was having fun with the experiments, found out i had a few homework to do and they super last minute only announced that this thursday, as a class, they want to sell food and drinks to raise class funds to pay for our senior page. They are planning to sell buchetta, hotdog, ice-cream and frizzy longan. Honestly i was very moody as they were so last minute in informing people so i just kept my straight face and silent stare. Haih, for raising money for senior page sake, i have to stay back tomorrow to go shop for the buchetta ingredients. There goes another week.
Anyway, today was also a science day, there were science activities going on in the science lab and badminton court. Some pretty cool experiments and science riddles to be solved. Even with my headache, i had fun messing around with the experiments and i finally found out what my blood group is.haha. I don't know whether that experiment accurate anot la but better than not knowing what blood group i am.
Went back to class late as i was having fun with the experiments, found out i had a few homework to do and they super last minute only announced that this thursday, as a class, they want to sell food and drinks to raise class funds to pay for our senior page. They are planning to sell buchetta, hotdog, ice-cream and frizzy longan. Honestly i was very moody as they were so last minute in informing people so i just kept my straight face and silent stare. Haih, for raising money for senior page sake, i have to stay back tomorrow to go shop for the buchetta ingredients. There goes another week.
Hari Koperasi!!!
As you can read, yesterday(monday) was Hari Koperasi for my school. So i as a member of our school koperasi, had to form a team of 4 and sell food or drinks. It was crazy for me.. gosh i don't know how to say. haha. Anyway, all koperasi members are required to participate and there were about 11 groups selling food, drinks and there were even games.
Food and drinks that were on sales :
*pizza
*sushi
*buchetta (sounds familiar?)
*fries
*frizzy longan
*spaghetti
*bubble tea
*hotdog
*jelly
*ice cream
*mushroom soup....and many more
How did it go?My group, sold buchetta and fries. I was quite excited as i was introducing a new food to be sold rather than the boring old sushi, pizza etc. As no other of my friends in my group know how to prepare buchetta, i had to do all the work (and i rather do all the work...at that time.) Anyway, i brought my oven, extension cords with the rest of the ingredients to school. Everything was prepared and just needed to be baked in the oven. Cut the nonsense and after assembly, we set up our stall. each group were given 4 tables. We set up our table at the nearest plug point that can be found but to our horror, the plug for the whole block B can't function. As we are not the only group using electronics, we all worked together to search for other plug points and luckily block A's was functioning, so we shifted our stall to the opposite side which is nearer to block A and plug everything in and we are ready to go! I placed my ingredients on the table and pre-heat my oven and i was already doing my buchetta. I had to go solo as my team members don't know what to do plus they were also busy frying the fries ( we do everything on the spot so its hot and fresh =D). Soon people were coming down to see whats for sale. At first students came and ask what were we selling, i told them ''buchetta, something new but delicious'' and of course they'll ask how much is it so i said '' 2 for RM1.80'' (not that expensive right?). Their reply was walk away..........When that start to happen, i don't feel confident in selling off all the buchetta's and was thinking of lowering the price but then my team said no and wait. So ok, i wait and continue baking. Slowly, one person came and buy, then two, then more came, soon i had so many orders that i can't even handle. Some booked 2,4,8...gosh i was going crazy. I tried to do it as fast as i can. Even as i was busy and 'stressing' up, i was happy that people love the buchetta. hahaha coz' i had comments like '' Carmille, i thought i don't have to say this but....i want more''..muahahaha...ahh the satisfaction.haha..while some, when i asked them ''nice?'', they wanted to say no but they expression gave way and finally they said ''yes, it was delicious''..hahahhaha..another point to Carmille!!! wee!!! I couldn't satisfy everyone as i messed up some orders and those who ordered 4 or 8 buchetta's, at the end i only can give them 2 while some (my teacher who ordered) can't even get to taste it. I felt so sorry for them.So i told them to come back in the afternoon as we will be selling again during the afternoon session recess time.
Honestly i was tired and reluctant to stay back for another session of selling but i still had to. We didn't have much time to prepare actually as we finished school at 1.10 and the afternoon session recess time was 3.30. I told my team that we should straight away buy the ingredients and start preparing but they were being sweet talked by the guys to go and eat the delicious pork noodle and end up i was the only one saying we should go buy the ingredients rather than eating lunch as it'll waste more time, in the end, i had to give in and follow them for lunch. The pork noodle was really good (i told my dad and he say it must be the ajinomoto..hahaha) but by the time we walked to carefour to buy our ingredients, it was already 2.50. By the time we rushed back to my friend house which was near school, it was already 3.15. I don't know why but i keep having this negative attitude and wanting to give up but thank God for my friends, they keep saying we can do it, everything will be fine. We worked together, cutting the bread, cheese and preparing the meat. Everything was done quite fast but it was already 3.45. Luckily my friends know how to bake the buchetta and 2 of my teammates went back to school first to start selling as i was rather not in the mood to sell anymore (no confidence) plus i was tired. I packed up whatever left that was needed to bring to school and start walking there. I had to walk a few roads before reaching school plus i was tired but thank God i met a schoolmate as he was going to pump petrol for his car so he dropped me at school. Once i reached the stall, i could'nt believe that so many people were crowding at our stall to buy and they did not care about the price at all (unlike the morning sessions) and i was surprise to see my class teacher helping out.haha..so pai seh leh. After everything was done, my class teacher finally got her order and we packed everything, clean up the place and went back to my friend house as my stuff was there.
There you go, a day of crazyness for me. There are pics too but will post them later.
Food and drinks that were on sales :
*pizza
*sushi
*buchetta (sounds familiar?)
*fries
*frizzy longan
*spaghetti
*bubble tea
*hotdog
*jelly
*ice cream
*mushroom soup....and many more
How did it go?My group, sold buchetta and fries. I was quite excited as i was introducing a new food to be sold rather than the boring old sushi, pizza etc. As no other of my friends in my group know how to prepare buchetta, i had to do all the work (and i rather do all the work...at that time.) Anyway, i brought my oven, extension cords with the rest of the ingredients to school. Everything was prepared and just needed to be baked in the oven. Cut the nonsense and after assembly, we set up our stall. each group were given 4 tables. We set up our table at the nearest plug point that can be found but to our horror, the plug for the whole block B can't function. As we are not the only group using electronics, we all worked together to search for other plug points and luckily block A's was functioning, so we shifted our stall to the opposite side which is nearer to block A and plug everything in and we are ready to go! I placed my ingredients on the table and pre-heat my oven and i was already doing my buchetta. I had to go solo as my team members don't know what to do plus they were also busy frying the fries ( we do everything on the spot so its hot and fresh =D). Soon people were coming down to see whats for sale. At first students came and ask what were we selling, i told them ''buchetta, something new but delicious'' and of course they'll ask how much is it so i said '' 2 for RM1.80'' (not that expensive right?). Their reply was walk away..........When that start to happen, i don't feel confident in selling off all the buchetta's and was thinking of lowering the price but then my team said no and wait. So ok, i wait and continue baking. Slowly, one person came and buy, then two, then more came, soon i had so many orders that i can't even handle. Some booked 2,4,8...gosh i was going crazy. I tried to do it as fast as i can. Even as i was busy and 'stressing' up, i was happy that people love the buchetta. hahaha coz' i had comments like '' Carmille, i thought i don't have to say this but....i want more''..muahahaha...ahh the satisfaction.haha..while some, when i asked them ''nice?'', they wanted to say no but they expression gave way and finally they said ''yes, it was delicious''..hahahhaha..another point to Carmille!!! wee!!! I couldn't satisfy everyone as i messed up some orders and those who ordered 4 or 8 buchetta's, at the end i only can give them 2 while some (my teacher who ordered) can't even get to taste it. I felt so sorry for them.So i told them to come back in the afternoon as we will be selling again during the afternoon session recess time.
Honestly i was tired and reluctant to stay back for another session of selling but i still had to. We didn't have much time to prepare actually as we finished school at 1.10 and the afternoon session recess time was 3.30. I told my team that we should straight away buy the ingredients and start preparing but they were being sweet talked by the guys to go and eat the delicious pork noodle and end up i was the only one saying we should go buy the ingredients rather than eating lunch as it'll waste more time, in the end, i had to give in and follow them for lunch. The pork noodle was really good (i told my dad and he say it must be the ajinomoto..hahaha) but by the time we walked to carefour to buy our ingredients, it was already 2.50. By the time we rushed back to my friend house which was near school, it was already 3.15. I don't know why but i keep having this negative attitude and wanting to give up but thank God for my friends, they keep saying we can do it, everything will be fine. We worked together, cutting the bread, cheese and preparing the meat. Everything was done quite fast but it was already 3.45. Luckily my friends know how to bake the buchetta and 2 of my teammates went back to school first to start selling as i was rather not in the mood to sell anymore (no confidence) plus i was tired. I packed up whatever left that was needed to bring to school and start walking there. I had to walk a few roads before reaching school plus i was tired but thank God i met a schoolmate as he was going to pump petrol for his car so he dropped me at school. Once i reached the stall, i could'nt believe that so many people were crowding at our stall to buy and they did not care about the price at all (unlike the morning sessions) and i was surprise to see my class teacher helping out.haha..so pai seh leh. After everything was done, my class teacher finally got her order and we packed everything, clean up the place and went back to my friend house as my stuff was there.
There you go, a day of crazyness for me. There are pics too but will post them later.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Schools back
Yes!!! Internet explorer is finally working again! haha. so happy =D but firefox, safari and flock cannot work, weird, does is mean its high time to change comp? *big grin* hahaha. Its ok, i think i'll still wait for my new laptop next year, not that long away. muahaha. Anyway, i want to say sorry for the weird past 2 post. Staying up late really can make one think even more. haha. or maybe its something i've been wanting to say out....
So school's finally started, but this first week of our second semester, we did not study much as students were preparing for Hari Sukan tommorow, Saturday at MPSJ. I don't know whether i want to go or not because i scared it might be boring and a waste of time as i'm not participating in anything but then its my last year in high school! Anyway my exam results, definately could be better, i could have done better if given more time, careless mistakes yadda yadda yadda.....lots of excuse. Whats done is done, keep grumbling and making such a big fuss about it won't change anything. Now have to focus on my weakness and improve. Easier said than done. sigh. i'm not saying i am satisfied with my results as its too average for my parents to accept (or isit that is just what I think about them). I haven't told them yet about my results, will have to soon or when they start asking, i'll get lots of nagging.
That reminds me, i know that people always say ''Don't judge a book by its cover'' as ''Dont judge a person by his/her look'' but then what if someone decide to do something when the bible says we can't for example getting a tattoo as in permanent tattoo. I am disappointed at myself as i could not stop a friend from getting a tattoo, who happens to be a believer and quite a spiritual person, or did i judge him too soon. If i could have said something more at that time...but i was just so lost at speech, shock that he want to get a tattoo on that day itself, already with his money ready and approval from parents. What disappointed me more is that he said he 'consulted' his church leader and they gave the green light for him to get a tattoo......*jaw drop*.... I asked him what he planned to tattoo, he said_____ which signifies freedom. First thing that went through my mind was ''WHAT?!?!?" but i was just too speechless to say anything ( which i later regretted). Ok, maybe you guys might say ''freedom'' is quite general but then......haih....i also don't know la.......
So school's finally started, but this first week of our second semester, we did not study much as students were preparing for Hari Sukan tommorow, Saturday at MPSJ. I don't know whether i want to go or not because i scared it might be boring and a waste of time as i'm not participating in anything but then its my last year in high school! Anyway my exam results, definately could be better, i could have done better if given more time, careless mistakes yadda yadda yadda.....lots of excuse. Whats done is done, keep grumbling and making such a big fuss about it won't change anything. Now have to focus on my weakness and improve. Easier said than done. sigh. i'm not saying i am satisfied with my results as its too average for my parents to accept (or isit that is just what I think about them). I haven't told them yet about my results, will have to soon or when they start asking, i'll get lots of nagging.
That reminds me, i know that people always say ''Don't judge a book by its cover'' as ''Dont judge a person by his/her look'' but then what if someone decide to do something when the bible says we can't for example getting a tattoo as in permanent tattoo. I am disappointed at myself as i could not stop a friend from getting a tattoo, who happens to be a believer and quite a spiritual person, or did i judge him too soon. If i could have said something more at that time...but i was just so lost at speech, shock that he want to get a tattoo on that day itself, already with his money ready and approval from parents. What disappointed me more is that he said he 'consulted' his church leader and they gave the green light for him to get a tattoo......*jaw drop*.... I asked him what he planned to tattoo, he said_____ which signifies freedom. First thing that went through my mind was ''WHAT?!?!?" but i was just too speechless to say anything ( which i later regretted). Ok, maybe you guys might say ''freedom'' is quite general but then......haih....i also don't know la.......
Sunday, June 8, 2008
last day of my holidays
Another day of staying up. Somehow i feel that i won't have the chance to enjoy this peaceful night anytime soon which is why i am taking the opportunity.
I don't want to grow up!!! I want to stay in high school, don't have to step into the scary world, don't have to......but we'll have to move on in life anyway. Time never stop ticking. We'll have to learn to overcome worldly stuff? Learn how to stand firm on what we believe in and not give into temptations. Its not easy, it never is, everybody says its a demanding, scary world out there, be prepared. Gosh, i suddenly feel so small, where i would get pushed around by people, feeling inferior. All these thoughts, feeling small, useless, inferior i think its all a psycologycal thing, it is MR. S.A.Tan who wants us to feel right? To bring us down, make us feel vulnerable.
As i was chatting with a friend earlier, many times we keep finding excuses for ourself, always adding "but" in every sentence. Maybe not all of you but some including me. I guess what you said was right, as we grow, we think more and our little brain start complicating things because we think too much!!! This attitude have to change but...i hate it when i keep having ''but's'' in my sentence. haih... like another friend of mine said, "if you always find excuse for yourself, you will always give excuse and never change. Its all depend on you whether you want to change or not. If you really do want to change, you will not find excuse for yourself." To say i want to change my attitude, it is not easy. In other words, its easier said than done. Playing safe is ok wat. but i guess playing safe won't get us far.
Everything in life comes in pairs. Before you can succeed, you must know what is failure ; to know what is love, pleasure, you must know what is pain ; to improve and learn, you must learn to make mistakes.
Ok, my brain is freezing up now. I can't think anymore. Can't continue my entry, each time trying to write another sentence, my head hurts. Its either i'm thinking too much thats why or i need my rest. This entry is definately very messy. haha. Anyway i hope you'll get my message?? through such short entry. Its better to have written something rather than none.
I don't want to grow up!!! I want to stay in high school, don't have to step into the scary world, don't have to......but we'll have to move on in life anyway. Time never stop ticking. We'll have to learn to overcome worldly stuff? Learn how to stand firm on what we believe in and not give into temptations. Its not easy, it never is, everybody says its a demanding, scary world out there, be prepared. Gosh, i suddenly feel so small, where i would get pushed around by people, feeling inferior. All these thoughts, feeling small, useless, inferior i think its all a psycologycal thing, it is MR. S.A.Tan who wants us to feel right? To bring us down, make us feel vulnerable.
As i was chatting with a friend earlier, many times we keep finding excuses for ourself, always adding "but" in every sentence. Maybe not all of you but some including me. I guess what you said was right, as we grow, we think more and our little brain start complicating things because we think too much!!! This attitude have to change but...i hate it when i keep having ''but's'' in my sentence. haih... like another friend of mine said, "if you always find excuse for yourself, you will always give excuse and never change. Its all depend on you whether you want to change or not. If you really do want to change, you will not find excuse for yourself." To say i want to change my attitude, it is not easy. In other words, its easier said than done. Playing safe is ok wat. but i guess playing safe won't get us far.
Everything in life comes in pairs. Before you can succeed, you must know what is failure ; to know what is love, pleasure, you must know what is pain ; to improve and learn, you must learn to make mistakes.
Ok, my brain is freezing up now. I can't think anymore. Can't continue my entry, each time trying to write another sentence, my head hurts. Its either i'm thinking too much thats why or i need my rest. This entry is definately very messy. haha. Anyway i hope you'll get my message?? through such short entry. Its better to have written something rather than none.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
A Peaceful time to write and think
I'm so sorry my fellow friends who have been constantly checking my blog for an update but still no update. I've not been online for more than a month actually. Before that, my computer is still working fine, its just that i choose not to online as i do not want to waste my time going online for i know that each time i go online, my butt won't move from the chair for at least 2 hours. So i rather choose not to go online and try to study or get enough rest and also minimize my tv time, plus exam coming thats why.
Anyway, after the exam, i thought i can finally go online but it seems that my computer has been attacked by virus or something like that so my dad took it to the shop to be repaired. More than 5 days of waiting for the computer to be taken back from the shop and when its finally back, my sister and dad was ''competing'' to use the computer so i though just let them use and i'll be able to use it tomorrow. Well then, i did not know what went wrong, the next day, it seems that internet explorer cannot go into the web. It keep appearing ''cannot find server''. Ok so i thought maybe its the server problem but for the next few days i still couldn't go online. At first it did not affect me so much but as time goes by, especially during the holidays, where i dont' have much to do at home, i tried studying alone but wasn't that successful, i studied with a friend but it felt as though i achieved very little. My handphone was awfully quiet, i did message some friends but i felt myself acting desperate so i stop. I miss chatting on msn, i miss chatting with my friends and going ''wild'' with them. Somehow i needed attention. I guess i was lonely, i felt lonely, i was desperate for attention from my friends but i do not know how to start a conversation with them, and for some, i know they are going through some tough time, i just didn't know what to say just to start a conversation or to comfort them as i am not good at that.
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As i am sitting here thinking, i think we have to make a habit of saying ''i love you'' more. One of my friend did said this to me, which is true, people nowadays tend to not say i love you to each other anymore even to their parents, they only use i love you as an expression for their lover, couple etc. Why did i suddenly bring this up? Maybe its because i can't stand the fact where people take this 3 words as something only to be said to their special someone. When we say it to our normal friends, some would be so shocked and some will start teasing. Have you felt like saying the 3 words out just to your friend when there is nothing else to say but that but you're also afraid on how they would react? I do, plenty of times where i just felt like screaming it out, just felt like telling them i am here for you, i love you, you are not alone. I just feel like showing love for a brother and sister who is in need of, i am sure everyone longs to hear someone saying i love you to them because it just brings the warmth back to the heart. It does for me.
Having to realised that someone i hold close to my heart is going to move to another country, eventhough its down south, not that far from where we originally are but still its not the same as having him here with us, among us. This special someone whom i admire so much( your determination), whom had taught me so much since the day i knew him( your strenght to go on) and someone whom i looked up to( your passion, your fire for God). He's someone whom i have come to care for and learned to love dearly even though i never knew how to express my care most of the time, i would just feel for his cries and struggles. The fellowship, the laughters we shared, the fun we had together, it ( christmas musical, youth camp,..) will be something which i treasure and will not trade anything for it. I love you!!! and will miss you so so dearly.
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Anyway, after the exam, i thought i can finally go online but it seems that my computer has been attacked by virus or something like that so my dad took it to the shop to be repaired. More than 5 days of waiting for the computer to be taken back from the shop and when its finally back, my sister and dad was ''competing'' to use the computer so i though just let them use and i'll be able to use it tomorrow. Well then, i did not know what went wrong, the next day, it seems that internet explorer cannot go into the web. It keep appearing ''cannot find server''. Ok so i thought maybe its the server problem but for the next few days i still couldn't go online. At first it did not affect me so much but as time goes by, especially during the holidays, where i dont' have much to do at home, i tried studying alone but wasn't that successful, i studied with a friend but it felt as though i achieved very little. My handphone was awfully quiet, i did message some friends but i felt myself acting desperate so i stop. I miss chatting on msn, i miss chatting with my friends and going ''wild'' with them. Somehow i needed attention. I guess i was lonely, i felt lonely, i was desperate for attention from my friends but i do not know how to start a conversation with them, and for some, i know they are going through some tough time, i just didn't know what to say just to start a conversation or to comfort them as i am not good at that.
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As i am sitting here thinking, i think we have to make a habit of saying ''i love you'' more. One of my friend did said this to me, which is true, people nowadays tend to not say i love you to each other anymore even to their parents, they only use i love you as an expression for their lover, couple etc. Why did i suddenly bring this up? Maybe its because i can't stand the fact where people take this 3 words as something only to be said to their special someone. When we say it to our normal friends, some would be so shocked and some will start teasing. Have you felt like saying the 3 words out just to your friend when there is nothing else to say but that but you're also afraid on how they would react? I do, plenty of times where i just felt like screaming it out, just felt like telling them i am here for you, i love you, you are not alone. I just feel like showing love for a brother and sister who is in need of, i am sure everyone longs to hear someone saying i love you to them because it just brings the warmth back to the heart. It does for me.
Having to realised that someone i hold close to my heart is going to move to another country, eventhough its down south, not that far from where we originally are but still its not the same as having him here with us, among us. This special someone whom i admire so much( your determination), whom had taught me so much since the day i knew him( your strenght to go on) and someone whom i looked up to( your passion, your fire for God). He's someone whom i have come to care for and learned to love dearly even though i never knew how to express my care most of the time, i would just feel for his cries and struggles. The fellowship, the laughters we shared, the fun we had together, it ( christmas musical, youth camp,..) will be something which i treasure and will not trade anything for it. I love you!!! and will miss you so so dearly.
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To many, I might not be an expressive person. To some, I am quiet, while to others I am noisy. I don't express myself well because i am afraid. Afraid of what you ask, well i guess i am afraid of alot of things. I am afraid of making mistakes, afraid of being humiliated, afraid of being looked down, afraid of failure. But that is something i must learn, i have to learn to not be afraid to learn. I have been told alot of times to not be afraid of making mistakes, as failure is the mother of sucess but it is not easy. I guess you can say i have a big ego.
One close friend said this to me : ''Carmille, you portray yourself from the outside as a strong, tough girl which i am sure can stand on your own 2 feet but inside, you're just a girl who wants to be loved but you are also cautious on who you allow to get close to you.'' Boom! ok that struck me from a different angle.
These few words after been told about it, it keep popping up in my head '' I should not be a loner'', '' Its ok to have friends''. I am quite a loner and quiet person actually. Most of my close friends don't believe that when i tell them because my close friends usually see me bubbly and always laughing. But did you noticed I usually join in other people conversations than starting one myself, otherwise i'll just listen to others talk. "Its ok to have friends" yes i have friends but do i allow them to get close to me? I treasure my friendship alot. I don't just tell someone about my problems, my struggles. for me, true friendship must be earned and it takes a long time to mold and bond to be a strong friendship but i don't believe that all strong friendship last forever. I can't believe i am saying this. I believe and i want a friendship which will last forever where we will always be in contact, keeping in track with each other's life but somehow it seems far and hard to achieve. I guess its because of the 'hurts' i've been through with some of my closest friends. Somehow as time goes by, we tend to move on and have our new 'sets' of best friends. That is when our old best friends are forgotten. I still treasure the time I had with my best friends, i enjoyed every moment of it. But when we do have the time to met up and talk or even through msn or sms, it just seems as though we're of 2 different world whereby once we used to be inseparable.
I just realised something, i have to admit that i don't recover from hurts fast, i take a long time to heal and the healing process stings. And i guess this is why i don't easily allow someone to get close to me, to avoid being hurt deeply again. I still do long for this love and trust upon someone. I do have my 2 close friends but i though we were closer last time compare to now. And it seems as though history is repeating itself. By the time we are all furthering our studies, we will end up loosing contact of each other, talking less to one another, sharing lesser with one another. Hah, I could guess someone would say,''this is why blog is created, to let us know what is going on in our life.'' Still, its not the same as talking face to face. But yeah there's still the time and place factor.....
Do i think of consequences too much? Maybe i do, which is why i am a loner, i am not proactive because i am afraid. Gosh, i really have to change.
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Wow! I can't believe its 6.40 am. Haha. I decided to stay up till morning because i want to enjoy the night peace being alone writing my entry without worrying about anyone disturbing. I can only write when my parents are asleep or they are not around because i like and i want my privacy. And it is also why i don't update my blog often. Because i take a long time writing one entry and everytime before i can finish an entry, i would be interrupted which can be quite annoying. And no, i did not start writing this entry since 12am. Yes i did mention i take a long time to write an entry but not that long. Anyway this entry took 2 and a half hours plus plus( yes go ahead, get shock on why i take so long writing such a short entry)......xD
Anyway, I just want to give a shout out of THANK YOU to Leon and Wen Cheang for helping to fix my computer. If it wasn't for them, i wouldn't be able to update my blog and i wouldn't have enjoyed our little conversation over msn with a whole lot of other people. Like i said before, i missed you guys and i love you all!!!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Strong yet Vulnerable
Horses, stallions, wild stallions. They all are a member of the same family. Such beautiful creatures.
They portray strong, energetic, full with spirit yet graceful.
Love running in the wild, being free, exploring the land and finding new adventures. Horses get restless easily and they can’t stand still, which is why they are constantly moving about, galloping. The freshness of freedom in open space they long for.
Capture them and keep them in a confined area, you will have yourself an angry horse.
Horses portray their strong, dominant side, not their weak. As their weak side shows out, they will feel vulnerable.
But this vulnerability is how they can be tamed. And only tamed by the One.
Horses are very sensitive, short tempered and stubborn.But If they are tamed, how much love and loyalty you show them, they will portray back to you.
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